this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2026
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Eldritch food.
Potato skins, potato cakes
Hash browns, and instant flakes
Baked or boiled or french fried
There's no kind you haven't tried
Woah, You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can't deny they've got appeal
You like them whether they are plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough
You know, you're gonna have to face it You're addicted to spuds
Your greasy hands, your salty lips
Looks like you found the chips
Your belly aches, your teeth grind
Some tator tots would blow your mind
And you don't mind if they're not cooked
You need your fix, I guess you're hooked
And late at night you always dream
Of bacon bits and sour cream
Whoah, you like them even if they're lumpy or tough, oh yeah
Whee, It's pretty obvious to me you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it You're addicted to spuds
Samwise, when the fish is raw.
I realized that my life had changed when I got excited that we were having potatoes with dinner.
Congratulations on your enlightenment
This person has never encountered potatoes in their rotting form.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
When i was in college, we put a bag of potatoes in a drawer and forgot about them. When we eventually opened it, we had to open every door and window in the house to disperse the swarm of flies that emerged.
Challenge accepted
And they turn green and become poisonous if exposed to light! Another form to avoid
Green potatoes
Projectile weaponry
The international sensation Titus Andromedon??? Now I'll have Peeno Noir stuck in my head for weeks!
Potatoes and tomatoes are definitely some of the best things that came from the Americas. I can't imagine having to live without them.
Other places in the world thankfully have edible roots and tubers still, so lives centuries ago weren't completely wasted by virtue of having stuff like turnips and yams and so on, but there really is no substitute for the tomato.
Tomatoes are the best food ever.
And cacao... chocolate
The things I'd do for good poutine.
Here's what big poutine doesnt want you to know. With a few simple ingredients you can make your own!
I don't really have anything to add, I'm just here to support the good cause of spreading potato awareness.
ANY form?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Literally if there’s tater based food I’ll turn into Titus for about 3 seconds and whimsically make them vanish
Thank god they are so delicious and useful that they are used quickly. It’s amazing how something so wonderful can become a Lovecraftian horrror when forgotten.
I never really gardened before, but recently tried to grow a sweet potato from the "slips" aka the Tentacles of an Elder God.
It does work.
However, I forgot about the "seed" sweet potato that I left in a cup of dirt after I cut off the slips I needed to make more.
It has grown roots and is forming its own ecosystem. Im concerned of what could pass through from the other side....
Does anybody else have an early childhood memory of being so hungry, and slightly neglected, the only thing in the dark kitchen pantry was a bag of raw potatoes, and long story short, you definitely know what raw potatoes taste like?
Yes. But I kinda liked them.
I have a friend that(as kids) had some kind of phobia about biting a raw potato so I used to make her gag by eating one in front of her in the kitchen. Good times.
I unironically listened to the show's parody for "Hold Up" for like a week straight on repeat. Titus is love. Titus is life.
🥰
🫂
All ways of being potato are valid
Gaseous form
Don't care, it could be potato plasma as far as I'm concerned, just add a good knob of butter and serve it up.
