is anyone aware of how to properly link comments on lemmy?
As far as I know, there is no way right now. There's some discussion of having a more agnostic identifier here, but seemingly no movement yet.
https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/2987
The best you can get right now is using an extension like Instance Assistant for Lemmy, but that only helps you, not the person you're responding to.
That said, if you use a mobile app (I use Thunder) it will usually handle post/comment links in-app, so it doesn't matter what instance they link to.
Thank you, I missed that!