Blahaj_Blast

I'm fairly new to all of this. I started questioning 3-4 weeks ago and feel like I'm kind of figuring some things out in my mind, but also like I'm at a roadblock or a fork in the road. I feel like to see where I need/want to go next, I need to explore, but I don't know how. I've heard about playing a game or whatever online and use a different identity, but it'd be hard to cram another game in enough for that to feel useful. I could try on some clothes, but that feels so limited in what it tells me. I'm sure it could be related to the fact that over time I have been convincing myself there's not boy/girl clothes, they're just fabric anyone can buy. (I think some of this came to be when my first child was conceived and we specifically avoided gendering kids things) Maybe I'm just looking for a way to get confirmation about what I think I'm feeling?

When you were discovering yourself, what did your journey look like? What do I do? Do you have any advice?

I'm open (and less panicked) about the ideas of some identity possibilities, but still when I think deeply, "how do I really feel about myself?" I just feel kind of empty, or a void. Any advice or guidance at all would be super helpful and much appreciated!

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Since starting my questioning journey, I feel like some of sexual orientation labels make less sense. I like girls (a lot apparently). I have always liked girls. Therefore as amab I am straight, I realize one day in the future "fuck it, I'm transitioning" and then I'm not longer straight. It honestly would make a lot more sense to use words like gynophilic or androphilic to describe more of what you're attracted to instead of how your attraction relates to you

Probably too in my head about it or something. I don't mean any disrespect in anyway. I'm just in a long unexpected journey of self reflection and used to view those a little more concretely.

Also, if I ever do get to a point of feeling like I should transition, I'm definitely coming out as a lesbian first and try to let them work backwards. It could be funny. Maybe it could ease the conversation along?

I'm rambling now, this started as (I thought) a kind of funny thought, then got too serious and I'll shut up now.

Also a little nervous/afraid.

Edit: it's too small 😭