ChickenLadyLovesLife

Drax the Destroyed.

Right, it's also the cost of tattoos.

I was doing my taxes one night on April 15th and while looking for my W2s I found a bag of weed that I had misplaced weeks before. I hadn't smoked since I had lost it so I naturally toked up and completed my tax form (thank god for the 1040-EZ form). Then I drove to a post office that was open until midnight and had a drive-thru lane to accommodate us tax procrastinators. Then I drove through the drive-thru lane twice, each time giving the dude collecting envelopes a "what the fuck are you looking at?" scowl before realizing too late that he had a legitimate reason for looking at me. I managed to hand him my return on the third trip through the line and he just laughed.

he always fucks up everything he touches

Like he fucked up the 2016 and 2024 elections? He sure seems to have a lot of power for someone that fucks everything up.

They haven’t received their lines yet

This is exactly why trump is saying this shit openly in advance.

he will be prosecuted, and will go to prison for the rest of his life

If it actually came to that (and I don't see why it would) he would flee to Russia or Saudi Arabia before spending a day in prison.

in the first couple years iPhone was the smartphone

Blackberry was the smartphone in the first half of the '00s. And circa 2005 even Windows Mobile smartphones were gaining some traction (by "smartphone" I mean devices that are essentially handheld computers that can run apps and do a lot more than just calls and texting). They both got swamped by the iPhone because RIM and Microsoft were short-sighted idiots who failed to see the potential market and saw no need to improve their devices much, until it was too late. The iPhone wasn't the first, it was the best (at the time at least).

I think one of the main reasons Blackberry was swiftly killed off by the iPhone was that their devices had tiny non-touch screens that used 16-bit color, and RIM were unwilling to move on from that until it was far too late. The other reason is that the Blackberry app development environment was orders of magnitude more atrocious than anything else I worked with in my 25-year career. The development environment for iPhones was the second-worst but still massively better than Blackberry; even if RIM had moved to upgrade their devices, they never could have gotten anyone to develop apps for them.

• You need to increase your head count or your budget will go down next fiscal year

i didn’t tailor the cover letter to the position

You should have printed it out and cut it into the shape of a shirt.

Ya know, it should have been obvious to me that there was a problem like this, since there's always condensation on the lid (which is clear glass for no good fucking reason) after I'm done with a load.

I'm a school bus driver and I get tips from the kids (really, the parents) at Christmas and the end of the school year, usually in the form of gift cards. It's still such a weird concept to me, but the thing I truly appreciate is hand-written (by the kids themselves) cards that express their appreciation and affection. It also saves me from having to go to Target (the most common gift card) and find something there that I actually want.