Drewelite

Or simply emoji based "reactions" like in most messaging platforms. This user friendly and immediately understandable system invites many ways to express how you feel about a comment. I think the community would eventually develop a sort of nuanced language to capture how we feel about a comment. Like "we all know what 🏴‍☠️ means." But perhaps this is too abstract.

But this displays over HDMI, correct?

Certainly! So in my response to the next comment in the chain, I posted a link to another comment I made in this thread. They didn't engage with me, so it's a limited example. It was responding to someone who grew up with an apparently abusive cross dressing or trans individual. This person was sexually inappropriate and seemed to harass the commenter.

Here in lies... probably the key to the whole approach. Understanding. People's most extreme takes are often forged from very formative experiences they've had. This is a big source of the rising levels of hatred we aim at each other. Both sides can't seem to fathom why the other would act the way they do, because it's at extreme odds with their own experience. But there's often a pretty valid scar underneath it, even if their final take away is completely incorrect and toxic.

This is why bigots get so defensive when attacked. They know, in their mind, 110%, they have a valid trauma. But they can't separate that from their shitty conclusion and the people correcting them can't help because they don't know about the trauma. They never will, because they've created an environment that's not safe for the other side to share a deep trauma.

This commenter bared their heart upfront but that's rare and even more so when you're not anonymous online. Here are some more experiences from my perspective.

Acquaintances and strangers: This is probably the most straightforward to see yourself. The next time somebody says something you disagree with, say, "I have a different viewpoint, but tell me why you think that way ... Ok so here's why I think you're off base..." Note how this conversation goes with this foundation

VS

The next time, after that, someone says something you disagree with, say, " FUCK YOU!! EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU TOXIC FUCK!!!" and note how that conversational foundation goes.

I've been on both sides of both of these interactions and it's night and day the kind of conversation you end up having.

Family: I have a very conservative family, but the younger generation has several liberals. When I listen to family members talk politics, they treat it as a zero-sum game. They're going to change the others opinion no matter what. This is where you can most obviously see the shift from a productive conversation into people shouting. There's a point where people aren't actually discussing anything anymore but saying more and more extreme things until they're just calling each other terrible people.

However, when I talk to my family about politics, I ask them what they're trying to achieve with their ideology. I asked for practical examples about how that will be achieved. I bring up issues that I think will occur in this application, compassionately. I share with them the ways in which I want to help make the world a better place. I point out the ways in which our views align. And why I think they eventually diverge. Occasionally they will rise into an emotional state where they begin to call me a terrible person, but I keep the olive branch extended, and patiently leave myself open for more productive conversation if and when they calm down.

Sometimes they don't. But oftentimes they do. I know I at least have learned a lot about why my family members think the ways they do, which does a lot to assuage my own anger. That's already a big benefit. They want people to be happy, healthy, safe, and prosperous, they're just mixed up on how to achieve it.

But I also see a similar effect in them. They're more likely to express their thoughts and opinions to me. Even when they know I'm not going to agree. They still think they're right, of course, and that I'll eventually see that. But by coming to me they're effectively welcoming an alternative perspective into their thought process. And actually taking the time to understand it (to refute it) rather than just accepting the reactionary strawman version they hear on Fox News.

I don't think I'll ever see them vote for a liberal candidate in my life, but I know I'm helping them not slip further into extremity. I was almost floored when my mom condemned the absurdity of Trump recently. She followed up with some backwards shit about education, but still. Progress! I could tell she enjoyed sharing something that we could agree on.

When you say "it's on Rowling", if there's some sense of grand justice in the cosmos, you're right. But in the real, "we actually have to live on this planet with each other", sense? No sorry, we're fucked if you're just going to vent your anger and call that progress.

It's like you're standing on the deck of a sinking ship with your arms folded grumbling, "Not my fault we're sinking". You can debate the moral justice of your position 'til we're all underwater. Or you can grab a wrench and actually help.

You bring up a really great point and a glaring omission in my previous comments. So thanks for your comment. I'm not saying that you should be subjected to hateful people if you're mentally unable to withstand that. Just like I'm not saying you should go to war if you have a bad knee. Your health and well-being should be your first concern. In fact you'll probably just do more harm than good if you're not fit and ready to fight that fight. When you do choose to fight, you've got to be ready, because it won't be easy.

There should be safe spaces for Trans people or anyone, devoid of these toxic aggressors. Places where they can vent and say, "Fuck you JK Rowling!!" and not have to worry someone is going to come in and challenge their identity and truth. If you need to sort through your trauma and get therapy, by all means, stay away from toxic assholes until you're on stable ground. Secure your mask before helping others.

But if we're trying to think of how we might actually be able to better the growing toxic divide between the right and left, it's not more toxicity. When we actually interact or post something intended to be seen by someone like JK Rowling, they don't see your anger as consequences. They see it as justification that they were right all along. When you come out to fight you've got to leave the hateful venting at the door and try and build some kind of productive discourse. Communication is the basis for ANY productive relationship.

Edit: Just saw this very appropriate video that came out 2 hours ago, lol. Sort of a counter point to my point of view. But still very interesting.

If you want to see how I feel about people that are exclusionary towards trans people and a further example of the kind of discussion I intend to promote, check out this comment I made further down in this thread. I think you have a habit of vilifying the people you disagree with in order to alleviate the discomfort It creates to genuinely consider their position and be compassionate to someone you disagree with. You should try and change that. It's not easy, but it's really important. I tell you this because I know you're a good person who clearly wants to make the world a better place for diverse people. This will make you so much more effective.

Of course she doubled down when she was "called out" by your definition. With zero compassion or path for redemption. That's my point. But no I guess I got infected by the idea of "cancel culture is bad", sorry. I'm so silly. You're right, spewing hate at people is the way to go, idk why I didn't see it before. Maybe because that's what's happening and it hasn't worked so far. But you're right, if we scream a little louder she'll have to understand she's wrong. Any day now 😂

She doesn't know she needs to. She can't humanize the other side. Something I think you can relate to. I'm not at all against calling out JK Rowling and her absolutely toxic viewpoint. I'm actually advocating for it. I'm calling out your toxic viewpoint because "Fuck JK Rowling" isn't a heroic position that's just "calling someone out". It's a vilifying statement that provides no path to redemption. It's a selfish position you take to alleviate yourself of the responsibility of putting in the work to try and help the other person understand what they need to. While simultaneously making yourself feel like a champion.

I think if you set aside your ego and think about the times in your life when you got something wrong, you were only able to grow from it if your community (or maybe friends or family) help you to do so.

If you assume everyone that does a bad thing is evil, you'll lose the fight pretty quick. When you keep pouring your hate into other people because they gave you a chance to do it while feeling righteous, the other side will gladly take them as soldiers. You're just as responsible for those "horrific effects" as the people encouraging JK Rowling.

Imagine someone with the influence and platform of JK Rowling being on our side rather than pulling this shit. She could be an inspiration to all TERFs if we could make her understand the error of her ways. Even if she never did, I promise you, she wouldn't be as extreme as she is now if people spent more time talking to her with basic respect and patience. Rather than selfishly using her as a conduit for their anger over the issue, however justified that rage may be.

I understand that a lot of people are traumatized and pissed and it sucks. But we've got to talk to each other. I know that in the end you want to make the world a better place. So hear this: any relationship without constructive conversation is doomed. We know they're not going to pull their weight. So we've got to pull double. Don't tell me it's not your responsibility, because you're right. But it doesn't change the fact that they're going to go out next election and make their vote. Nor does it change the fact that they're going to keep donating to horrible institutions. So it's got to be us. We've got to be the adults.

She also has every insulation to not need to. Which is my point. I think she has, or at least had, the capacity to learn compassion for trans people. But it's really hard to suddenly learn compassion when everyone that genuinely has it immediately starts depriving you of it.

Your final sentence there is precisely the sentiment that she's received from everyone that understands the compassion she needs to learn. This is not conducive to the cooperation our society needs. The compassion she does receive is actually from very hateful people.

It takes a very rare person in this situation where they're being attacked and are starting off with a toxic mentality to suddenly stop, rise above, self-reflect, admit their failings, and grow. So people with one bad take are immediately cast into a sea of poison when they don't know how to swim. It's happening over and over again. And cancel culture is patting itself on the back the whole time, saying, "See? They were a bad egg!" When they're just as much to blame for that person's downfall as the hateful community that fostered it.

I am truly sorry for what happened to you growing up. That's really fucked and no one deserves that.

I would caution that you are using this experience to shape the definition of all transgender people in your mind. There's all types of people, good and bad, this is the same with transgender people. This is assuming the person you described is even transgender, which they may not be.

I'd point out that all of the struggles that you face as a biologically born woman, aren't erased because somebody else has joined your gender. There are plenty of cis women who don't experience childbirth, periods, ovarian cysts, fibroids, etc... they're still women. Your struggles in these areas don't gatekeep other people from experiencing womanhood. If a country achieves true gender equality, are the cis female population of that country no longer able to call themselves women because they didn't experience discrimination growing up?

All the things you've mentioned aren't things that define womanhood. They define individual women's struggles. Just because there are members of the gender that have never experienced this, does nothing to undermine these struggles. Feminism exists to help ameliorate the various struggles that affect women disproportionately. That's not being threatened here. If anything it's bringing more attention to it.

A person rejecting the identity of their biology and often their whole social life to be identified as another gender is not done as a mockery. Maybe this did happen in your case. But I assure you that the majority of transgender people want to celebrate the best parts of the gender they are transitioning into and be another person to stand up for them and fight for their equality.

The struggles women are subjected to are brutal. Don't reject an ally who wants to join you.

The sad thing is, I believe she didn't start in such an extreme position. If you read her work she clearly understands the benefits of diversity and inclusion.

Cancel culture pushes people with one bad take in to extremist communities that foster and feed the ugliest parts of a person. By barring them from any community that might actually try to challenge their opinions and foster compassion, we essentially create martyrs that are exalted in extremist communities. All the while, we act like we defeated them and stick our heads in the sand. Like they're not still voting in every election. Like they're not still out there spewing darker and darker bullshit to an audience that eats it up and to the next batch of people we "cancel".

If you disagree with someone, however painful it may be, treat them with basic respect and talk to them. You won't change their mind, but you might plant the seed that will. It's the only way out of this mess.

🏴‍☠️