Grogon

About a year ago, I got married. I couldn’t invite everyone from my friend group, so I decided to only invite people I actually spend time with one-on-one outside of group stuff over the past year or two.

There are two people in the group—one of them being the one this is really about—who I honestly wouldn’t even know if they stopped hanging out with our shared friends. We’ve never done anything just the two of us. We only ever see each other at parties every few months.

Thing is, those two are also the ones who organize everything. They’ve kind of created their own mini friend group inside the bigger group—like 6 or 7 people out of 15 who get invited to the real stuff: birthdays, city trips, holidays, etc. And five of those people are actually close friends of mine.

When I invited 9 of the 15 to my wedding, I told people I just couldn’t include everyone. Most people were cool with it, even her best friend didn’t mind. But now, she’s throwing a party for her 30th birthday and invited everyone—except me.

She’s never invited me to her birthday before, which is part of why I didn’t invite her to the wedding in the first place. I figured if we’re not close enough for a birthday dinner, a wedding isn’t happening either.

But this time it’s different. She invited literally everyone else in the group. My best friend wasn’t invited either, but that makes sense—he doesn’t really know her. With me, though, I’m pretty sure it’s payback for not inviting her to my wedding.

And yeah... I don’t know. I usually don’t care about her events because I’m not close with her. But this time feels different. Not because I wanted to go to her party—but because everyone else is going. I know I’ll be left out when they’re all talking about it later. I’ll miss out on those shared moments, even if it’s with people I do care about.

I get it. I didn’t invite her, she’s not inviting me. Fair enough. But I can’t help feeling weird about it. Like, yeah, maybe I started this when I didn’t include her—but at the same time, she’s the one who’s always made the group feel split in two. She’s been excluding people for years.

Anyway, here we are. Not invited. And for once, it actually kind of stings. Wish it didn’t. But this one hits different.

I probably won't be able to fix this cause even on group gatherings we rarely have a 1:1 conversation. Like never had... she is the person that is always there and in the middle of all but if we talk it's in a group setting. I can't remember if I ever talked alone with her.

I personally would have invited her to something like a birthday. But I don't celebrate my birthdays. I never did and I don't care about my birthday. Three years ago I planned a trip to a theme park and I invited everyone (and her) to join and organised everything. A few weeks later she organised something else but only with the 5 other friends. So that was the last time I organised something.

It's weird because this person also makes me feel very insecure. It's not that I don't like her but when she is around I am totally different. I am more quiet, scared to say things I would normally say,... it's a very loud person and I just don't like that. But that is all I have to her. Maybe she is different alone but I sometimes do wonder why everyone likes her. She likes to be in the middle of everything, kind of like attention seeker. But not really either... To me she comes off as passive toxic. If I just observe her at parties I am always happy I only see her at these parties and not on vacations, trips etc... but maybe it's also cause I am mad about the splitting of our group and that she didn't invite me 3 years ago after I organised a trip first.

This feeling actually made me more silent, I avoid going to these parties more and more. I go more to the gym, do things with 2 other friends but I feel like I am isolating myself more and more and trying to find new people which is very hard. I go to the gym like 6 times a week and talk with someone there but that is it. This whole thing makes me feel like I am not really wanted anymore in that group and maybe she is saying things to my other friends about me. Or I am just thinking this going full psycho and nothing is going on. In the end maybe she just forgot to invite me and doesn't even care - but that I don't believe. This time she excluded me on purpose and invited the others who she normally never invites intentionally.

Where I am from my salery is quite okay to be honest. I get about 3700 € after taxes (state insurances, health care etc.) each month but I don't see me affording a car anytime soon.

I pay about 1200 € a month on my debt for my house, so I have about 2500 € left. Another 600 € go away for electricity, water, trash, internet, phone provider etc...

Leaves me with 1900 € left for the month. I'd say I spend about 900 € for food and household supply a month.

1000 € I save 500 € for my house for later. 250 € for vacation (3000 € in total a year) And 250 € for car.

It is going to take me about 5 years to save for a 15.000 € car. I don't know how people buy BMWs, etc. I know I don't earn that much but I need a car somehow my current car is breaking down and I got no money saved yet. Only about 1500 € cause I spent all my money on paving (had to be done) and my emergency saving wasn't enough for the bill of the paving and other work on that area around my house.

I only save since 3 years cause I wasnt able to before.

I am not even ranting about the joke of a car I might get with 15.000 €. In my country I can't even get the smallest Toyota with that. It's a friggin' joke that a Toyota Aigo or whatever it is called is going for 19.000 € (new) but whatever.

Hey I don't know where to post this. I can't find a good sub for this topic.

My grandparents died and my mother is respecting the last wish of not getting anything from them and wants her brother to get it all, which is fine, because she is adopted by her parents sister and will get what her mothers sister has (house etc.).

While this should be easy she could refuse, the issue we are now facing is that it will be passed on to me and my sister.

I told my oncle that I would not accept the inheritance if my sister also refuses to.

Now that my oncle also has a property he promised my sister that she'd get it if she refuses to accept the inheritance. Now I talked with him about it because the property is worth about 15.000 €. He said he would give me 5000 € instead.

Now I don't know what to do. My sister says it was rude to ask him for money because it isn't our right to accept the inheritance and that the property has nothing to do with all this it's a gift from him to her.

Well I see it like that too so I said that I will also not accept the inheritance if our oncle gives me 50% of the property as well. She is now saying I am so greedy and that we aren't in the position to tell our oncle what to give.

Now this is going even further: I just found out the house my oncle will sell (parents house)is worth 200.000 $.

I am thinking about visiting him and have a talk about that. Why should I refuse the inheritance for 5000 $ even though the property is worth 15.000 $? Why should I refuse to accept it if I know I could also get 100.000 $ if I sell the house too?

I mean I have nothing to do with my oncle. So does my sister, she doesn't even visit him once a year. She also doesn't know about the house or else she would take the inheritance as well.

What would you do? I have a feeling that my sister and oncle don't want to give me anything at all.

My mother told my oncle to give me the money for what the property is worth and my sister the property so it is fair.

I told my oncle that if he can get my sister to not accept the inheritance that I'd also not accept it and he can keep the property. But now that he had promised to give it to her (my oncle is a tricky person.. so I don't know if he will actually give it to her or screw them over) and my sister is also a tricky person, she wanted my mother to give her the house so my mom can live rent free in it and I don't get anything once she dies. She didn't say it like that, but I and my mother know. She also doesn't know that she ain't getting anything from that house because of how she treats mom and our grandmas sister.

I am not talking about the MRT system. I see that everyday.

I am currently in Singapore and I swear I haven't seen daylight in two days. My hotel is directly connected to this MRT and Mall. I am just underground and everything is so huge down here.

I wonder is this a city under the city?

Normally not into this kind of genre (more thrash metal, stoner rock, punk) but this tune is the tune I need in the gym.

I bought a property near a church, about 30 meters. When I bought it and years before the bells were "off" and it's barely used.

Since a year they fixed the bell and clock and now it starts at 05:30 in the morning, 08:00, 11:00, 12:00, 01:00 and 18:00

For each 5 minutes very loud.

I talked with the people who work at the church and said it is a huge issue for me, especially cause I work nights.

They don't care and refuse to make it quieter and won't reduce the length of each time it starts the bells.

Long story short: I am in therapy since a year because I have a huge debt, I can't move away and I can't sleep anymore. I have no idea what I can do with my life I am afraid I am going to get even more mentally ill than I am now. Selling is also now no more option, who would buy a place where you can't fall asleep or if you fall asleep you wake up by massive bell noise.

The only time I sleep is when I can afford vacation twice a year...

My therapist wrote my insurance and they are thinking of giving me the oppertunity to sleep somewhere else for one to two weeks every three months. They will pay for it, but this can't be the solution?!

TIFU by thinking I can just use one drive and upload the albums one by one and downloading them and then deleting them.

Well I actually kept doing it until I noticed the synch was not only deleting the one drive file it was also deleting my albums that were synched at the same time.

Now I have to recover 40 Albums because I didn't check what was going on while doing this whole thing.

Now I have to recover them all and while doing so I noticed it has wrong date/ time now.

Pro tip: You should synch your fotos with one drive, download the photos, UNSYNCH again and then delete.

If I quit my job and start searching for jobs that provide service to rich people, do I get more money as "tips"?

Just a plain example: If you clean in a 3* Hotel rooms you might find people tiping you about 5-10$/€ or whatever currency the country you work in has.

If I instead now work in hotels for royals, do they tip like 1000$/€,... because its nothing to them anyways?

Both seems kind of weird to me. If I were to have 50+ Million € on my account and earn X million € a year, would I still tip only 5 € to people who clean my hotel room or would I tip 1000 €? I'd somehow feel like I'd just tip a 1000 € anyways if I'd have that much money. Like what would I care.

On the other side tipping a thousand € would be weird to, because if that would be the case wouldn't everyone just work for the rich?

I noticed it myself though, the more wealthy I got the more money I "gave" to people for services. I remember backpacking through Thailand about 15 years ago as a poor student. I was like looking for the cheapest tuktuk driver, even if it was only a dollar less than the other tuktuk driver offered. Now if I go to Thailand I just throw them 5 € in the pocket and move on with my day cause I don't feel like talking about how much a ride would cost they can use the money to buy a snack after it and I make them happy.

At the same time if everyone would do this wouldn't the Thais start working for tourism only and abandon other jobs?

This topic has kind of 2 questions. Because if you tip to much you kill other jobs at the same time. You can't go to lets say Tansania and tip the luggage carriers 10 $ per luggage because sooner or later all the rangers in national parks would quit the jobs and go carry luggage around cause of more money. You know what I mean?

But I still have a weird feeling abut this topic. I would find it disrespectful if I would tip 5 € to room service if I were Taylor Swift. Do they tip at all? Tell me they tip. And if yes, do they only tip 5 €? That has to be weird to them. Do they even have 5 $ banknotes in the pocket lol.

I'm at a point in life I get a phone, set it up and live my life.

Everytime I get updates for my Samsung phone my menu is wack and I gotta click through thousand new commands and options that I will never use in my life.

Please just give me updates for my security and no more features.

I marked it purple and hope to keep it alive but even my neighbor said its old.

Would you keep it? I am planning to keep it or is it really too old?

I ask this because I live in a country with the classic seasonal variation most peoples mind comes to if you say seasons (spring, summer, autumn, winter).

I enjoy the variety in activities and I am always happy once a season ends and a new one comes with new activities and especially vegies and fruits that come along that season.

Here in Germany I am always hyped for the next season to start and I enjoy all of them. Spring in April comes with Asparagus, Rhubarb, later on strawberries, ... summer with fresh pears, cherries etc.

I could go on.

And not only speaking of food, also activities. Swimming in Summer, hiking in Autumn, Snowboarding in Winter, cycling and hiking in spring, swimming and stand up paddeling in summer and so on the cycle repeats every three to four months new activities.

I have been to SEA a lot and I like it there too but I couldn't imagine a life without the seasons and I couldn't imagine living in a place where it's either dry season, wet season and so on.

Edit: I know people get use to where they live but I was in Australia once in my life during winter season and it just never felt like christmas. It always felt weird. I need the cold and rainy or snowy days here in Germany to make it feel like "winter, christmas".

I am talking about scenes where lets say a woman loses her father and they show scenes of them at the beach when she was a child and her father was chasing her.

These kind of scenes look blurrier, greyish. I can't describe.

And I can't find a clip of what I mean. Maybe someone has a clip to something simular with that filter?