Ifera

To mostly quote you:

Any amount of [wo]men doing that shit is unacceptable.

And that's exactly my original point. Whether we're talking about a large number of perpetrators or a small number, the people responsible for those crimes are the perpetrators, not their entire gender.

Are you a part of that plurality? If no, why are you mad?

I'm not claiming your “date rape is bad” stance is equivalent to “kill all men.” I'm pointing out that the defense you're using is the same: Make a sweeping statement about men, then when someone objects, insinuate that their objection itself is suspicious rather than engaging with the criticism.

And the difference in prevalence doesn't really resolve that issue. We can acknowledge that certain crimes disproportionately involve one sex while still asking whether collective blame is appropriate.

More importantly, if the goal is actually to reduce these crimes and help victims, I'd rather see the discussion focus on things that can accomplish that: effective laws, enforcement, appropriate punishment, prevention, victim support, and making sure victims of all forms of these crimes have access to those things.

That's what I was getting at originally. I'm not defending date rape, and I don't think anyone here is. I'm questioning why assigning blame to a gender seems to be the first avenue rather than addressing the mechanisms that allow the crime to happen in the first place.

And your response just proves my previous point, having a discussion with you is entirely pointless, you respond like you were trained to escalate things and then play the victim, Are you sure you're not AI?

Anyway, feel free to reply, or don't. I am not engaging with you anymore.

Edit, typo

Because when problems affecting women are discussed, most people act like it is the end of the world, like men need to risk and even lose their lives to protect them, but whenever issues that affect men are discussed, we are met with dismissals such as yours.

If people pointing out shitty things that a plurality of women do upsets you enough to try to debase those concerns, attempt to throw shade and even attempt to paint the other person as someone who roofies women, then there is no sense in having a discussion.

It is the same regurgitated arguments that people who claim "kill all men" is not hate speech, and ridiculing anyone who takes issue with said problematic statement.

Same as mothers committing infanticide, parental alienation, paternity fraud, rape and many other crimes.

Acting like an entire gender is guilty of the crimes of a few is inherently wrong and it is called collective responsibility, and it can also be played both ways, which is a complete waste of time.

It just leads to fighting, throwing blame around and it does not help bring solutions to the people actually suffering.

Same as every religion, there are extremists and ignorants, like all the christians ignoring the bible and the 10 commandments while pretending that the current president of the US was handpicked by their god to save them.

Or maybe the person thought "We're already beyond fucked, might as well die a pious death while praying, bet that will get me into the A list", or some variation of that.

Way to bark at the wrong tree, I'm gay, I don't look for women but sure, go off and claim I'm a conservative, lol. It is perfectly normal, natural and healthy to have, expect and respect boundaries, and there are also non negotiables.

So, if you feel asking men to disregard their non negotiables is perfectly valid, Would you ask the same from women? And if so, that's just fucked up and unhealthy, I recommend you read and meditate on that.

If my non negotiables include not dating people with kids, you don't know my reasons. Blindly asking me to disregard them and get to know them first, it is setting me up for failure. I will not expand on my reasons for children being a non-starter, because it is traumatic and I don't owe you an explanation.

Because not wanting to be a parent automatically makes one a conservative, got it.

You do know that some people just don't want kids at all, Right? And then there is the added danger, in case of a separation, even without marrying the woman, that the guy who according to the courts, acted as a father figure, gets hit with child support, and even alimony?

Lots of people act like it is conservative or incel behavior to try to protect oneself from systems designed to exploit and harm us.

Honestly, I respect you and your approach. Speed dating is an option, it is somewhat organic, or at least it mimics the thing, but as a word of advice, avoid the free ones. There are events on my city that charge around $20, with $10 out of the fee being consumable at the cafe where they host them, and the difference in quality of people is massive. And worst case scenario, at least I can count it as an afternoon out, with a good piece of pie.

I feel for you dude, and sadly, I have seen your fear materialize. Made a comment a few min ago on this thread, I'm gay, and even I got posted on one of those internet forums, to the point someone took and posted pictures of me at work, without my permission or awareness. Sometimes, some people are so toxic that they will lash out, to no fault of your own and attempt to hurt you.

Keep your standards high, build a circle of friends, and honestly man, my heart hurts for you, straight people dating is beyond fucked now, and has been for a while.

Honestly, that can happen to anybody. I am not even interested in women and I don't date at work. Still got posted on AWDTS, with pictures of me taken without my knowledge, at work, and posted as "An aloof asshole, who I was told in confidence has a small, ugly dick anyway".

Im gay and was happily married to a guy at the time, of course I can look aloof, I'm both gay and autistic, and that did a number on my self confidence, along with the replies that message got. My best friend's sister found the post, found it funny and shared captures with me, without knowing how much that was going to fuck with my head.

Yeah, I even hooked up an AC and a fan after a while, natural ventilation wasn't cutting it. And of course, sweat is moisture, so you need it to be dry. Laundry and properly dried sheets and blankets are a must to prevent mold.

I have the same issue, and ended up building myself a coffin. Soundproofing a rental apartment would have been an insane waste of money that I didn't have anyways, and sleeping with headphones on was impossible to me due to how painful it would get, having the plugs in when I slept on my side, pushing them further in.

During the day, I used the noise canceling earphones solutions most mentioned and that worked really well, but thank heavens I'm not claustrophobic.

If it gets so bad you need to do that, make sure you get good enough ventilation, an easy way to open it, and personally since I lived with roommates, I ended up also wiring an emergency alert button, so in case anything happened to me in there, they could come into my room and rescue me. One of them even made me a sign for "The corpse is out/in" so in case of emergency or a fire, they would go and wake me up so I could evacuate too. Plus two USB ports, one for a night light, and one to charge my cellphone.

This message is getting kind of long, so let me know if you want more info about it. But in a nutshell it was just an iron frame, plywood panels, for the outer and inner walls, and rock wool for the in-between of the walls. Two doors, one on the upper panel, one on the side, so I could just roll myself out if it in case of emergency. And most importantly, and to repeat myself, ventilation.

A small custom mattress, and lining on the walls to prevent splinters, and you're all set.

Thank you for actually getting the point. It is just like that transphobic panic about bathrooms, people pretend to come from a place of love and care, a "Won't someone think about the children" kind of stance, to justify battery, assault and harassment of anyone they suspect to be the target.

Honestly, mobs are beyond stupid and fail to even comprehend the fact that they can be wrong, but in their own echo chambers, where their own voices and support for their points gets amplified a lot, which leads to even further extremist thinking.

Yeah, people here are unhinged when it comes to Linux, AI, renting and a few other topics, and lose all reading comprehension.

And the dogpiling is extreme. Lots of people here gladly get baited by bad faith posts seeking engagement, which is extra pointless here, where Karma isn't even a thing. But ultimately, not as shit as Reddit, so that's at least something.