Jojowski

I have a relative who was a brilliant student in school, studied law, moved to China, learned the language, always very high achieving and motivated to succeed in what ever she chose to do, seemed like she was aiming high career-wise, then she met an arab guy, turned muslim to marry him, got two kids, as far as I know is a house wife now. They live in the Emirates so life must be very restricted for her. We are not close but it was quite surprising that she chose a closed life and conservative religion instead of career. But like said, I don't know her enough to know her side of the story, but I'm sure she's happy with her life.

A friend of mine, when I first got to know him, didn't strike to me as a person with many goals in life and was at that point unemployed and living with his cousin, hadn't really studied, wasn't doing much anything. Well he got into gardening, wen't to career school to become a gardener, one day he decides to become a landscape architect and study in the most top tier university in the country, so he just studied to the entrance exam like hell, failed a couple times and kept on pushing and finally got it. Very proud of him. Not the easiest path if you come from career school background. Also how the hell can someone be so motivated to bang their head onto the wall until they finally succeed?!

When I was younger I was offered a gig to help disassemble an abandoned cottage by hand. Turns out it had burned from the inside when a fire had spread from the fireplace - somebody had went inside to try and keep warm in the winter and ended up burning themselves and the cottage. What adds some spice to the story is the fact that in the past the cottage was a "troll's hut" funfair kinda thing where kids, myself included, went to meet the "forest troll" and do some drawing etc.

Had nightmares about it for quite a while.

I once found a fake Harry Potter book named Harry Potter and Deatbly Hallows, probably just a pirated version of the actual book, never read it, but funny to not spell-check the name.

Yes, although you need to know what you are doing because in the worst case it can be a really costly fuck-up and/or dangerous. Working on "regular" wheels is usually quite easy though.

This july I finally realized that I have no choice but consciously change the ways I think and react to things. There has been plenty of difficult things in my life the last couple of years and after experiencing a burnout (again, I understood afterwards it's not the first time but hasn't been this bad before) this summer I had to look myself in the mirror and decide to start making changes, things can't go on like this anymore, I can't keep on living like this anymore. It's sad that it seems often these realizations only come when one hits the bottom in a way or another.

I've been to a 3-year therapy and tried meds and so on, I'm sure they "paved the path" but didn't help me comprehend why I have these troubles that I have and didn't give me the understanding/empathy towards myself and others that is needed to actually change the thought and reaction models that are problematic, especially anger and shame issues.

Anyways I've been looking at videos on youtube about CPTSD and they have helped me a lot. Especially I find Tim Fletcher's videos useful as he thoroughly looks into the underlying issues and different ways CPTSD shows up in people, just the facts as they are. He's kind of an old school lecturer type guy, nothing fancy and shiny (needs to be taken with a grain of salt though as he doesn't seem to have understanding on ADHD/autism and has religious aspects in some of his videos).

Of course being recently diagnosed with ADHD gives more light to why I'm the way I am. But now I've been able to start to work on my stuff from a different angle and it seems to take an effect! A difficult and rocky path but I suppose the first steps are the hardest.

Heard from a friend who has an autism diagnosis that after getting it some health care people started treating them in a "custodial" way, as if they were simple or had problems understanding, doctors wouldn't listen to them and so on. For example it might make it more difficult to get help with mental health issues because "it's just the autism". I told my psychiatrist that I'm aware of such and they kind of agreed that this can happen.

Nah, that's just their jousting lance

This is what my psychiatrist kinda told me between the lines when I told them I suspect AuDHD. I would like to * know *, just to have an explanation to some things ADHD diagnosis alone doesn't explain. But the autism diagnosis might cause more harm than good - as I don't have severe problems related to those traits, so it would be unlikely to get any help but for example might encounter discrimination in health care etc...

That object, my friend, is me.

I find it easier to make friends with people that are also on the spectrum and then other stuff comes on top of it, rather than trying to find friends through a shared interest and then trying to adjust to normies strange way of being 😅 (although it seems that many of my friends that I made through a shared interest in the first place later turned out to be on the spectrum...)

Same here, used to happen when I'd have a big firght with my SO or parent who wouldn't understand what's going on and tried to push me into solving the situation rather than give space. But definitely difficulty speaking is an indicator of emotional distress/overwhelm for me and dissociation / freezing follows when the distress worsens. I find writing an easier way of communicating difficult emotions and thoughts and i've even thought about learning sign language to help with these situations.

Crane e-ne bells are neat with a nice sound and probably outlast the bike too