PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S

joined 1 year ago
[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All of them.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 38 points 2 months ago

Sure. America has its slimy tendrils in everyone else's business, so it's only fair that you have a say.

 
[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I also respect your freedom to like what you want, but also also

Out of context screenshot from a Wikihow article that shows someone pointing at a cat with the text "5. Be firm and consistent. No" at the bottom

Upvoted because it's unpopular.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Also: model trains. I was into model trains for a few years, but I realized that I didn't really have the life experience to make a fulfilling model trainset. Like I did the thing, I made a (really childish) layout with some crappy blocks and streets, and I got the trains to move and stuff, but it didn't...say much? It was "I'm a child and I like trains", which is great! Probably wouldn't have become interested in trains at all otherwise!

But I want more...I always want more. I need to go more hardcore into the few things I can actually tolerate doing...

And as a child, I saw some really cool trainsets built by adults that told stories, made me laugh, made my parents laugh, made me feel awe at the storytelling and creativity of the craft. Even my cousin, who built a trainset in his basement in his early twenties, had a much more inspired trainset than mine (when I was much younger, like 10 or 12). His trainset was cool. He studied how trains worked, how to make a realistic line with realistic scenery and infrastructure. His trainset reflected who he was, and ultimately forecasted what he became. He literally works for a rail company now designing the train tracks.

So I'm kinda "saving" that hobby for when I'm in my 60's after I integrate enough life experience (and hopefully some capital) to build a trainset that really reflects the person I ultimately became.

My trainset is gonna have a sick, functioning roller coaster, some overly complicated automated control circuits, some heavy metal references, some intentionally goofy shit, serious shit, an anarcho-communist bent, a layout that at least is informed by modern infrastructure design, etc., because that's at least partially the person I will have become.

Roller coasters. I'm too heavy to go on them, too poor to afford to ride them, too busy to simulate them.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I didn't ask for your answer, I asked for your opinion. I already knew that you didn't have the answer. Nether do I.

Amen.

I do, however, have a great love for game theory, and game theory tells me that there's only one correct decision to make where voting in the USA in 2024 is concerned.

Any recommendations for game theory resources? I've been putting it off for a while.

I hope this doesn't come across as condescending. I don't mean it that way but people often tell me I'm being condescending.

Don't you just hate it when that happens? I've been there so many times. I feel you.

I wish you all the best in life. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you in any way, and don't hesitate to reach out if you want a conversational partner or a sympathetic ear. I'm always open to discussing the world with intelligent people.

Will do. This honestly means the world because I don't have a lot of players in my court.

If you're interested in communal living or alternative lifestyles (at it pertains to anarchist communities), I'm happy to help there, as well. I think I still have some friends that know folx at Emma Goldman Finishing School in Seattle. Admittedly, I don't know if they're looking for any new members right now, but I'd be happy to put a word in for you.

Unfortunately, I'm kinda stuck on the "poor grad student" path. Got oodles of loans to pay off, but I also got tons of new tools and solutions to technical problems ~~that I'll likely never be allowed to work on~~. IMO I'd be more useful paying their bail funds as a successful engineer than living there and being a nuisance...because I am a nuisance to live with lol. I dormed for a few semesters and I can count on two hands the number of times I ever talked to my suitemates or neighbors, and one of them was a really nice dude.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

The Answer.

From the song's lyrics:

I don't believe you have the answer

I've got ideas too

but if you've got enough naivete

and you've got conviction

then the answer is perfect for you

That's kind of an obnoxious response when you yourself said:

I fear that you’re mistaking your own pessimism for absolute truth, but I’m willing to be convinced otherwise.

(emphasis mine) followed by:

What, in your view, needs to be done?

Like you basically asked for my answer after saying you'd be willing to be convinced. You asked "what needs to be done?", and I replied with things that I think need to be done. If you didn't ask, I would have kept my mouth shut because frankly I'm pathologically disinterested in telling people what to do, probably to a fault. If you weren't convinced then that's fine, but it's just kind of obnoxious to ask for an answer and then chide me for giving you my answer.


When fascists take power it's not unheard of for them to line up commies and anarchists against a wall and shoot them.

Yes, and that's why we need to prepare ourselves for when they do, which they WILL do regardless of who gets elected as the figurehead.

I'm all for ideological utopianism

I'm not [2]! I have explained over and over again all throughout my responses in this post's comment section that I have very practical motivations for why voting is a waste of time. I encourage you to go through my comment history and see what I have said to others in this thread.

but preserving your moral superiority...

Yo literally the first thing I posted in this comment section was a meme dunking on the delegates and their misery, which is bar none the most engagement I have received on any comment and almost all of it negative. No one here thinks I'm morally superior. And in case you were wondering, I don't like me either.

So let's explicitly do away with the moral superiority pretense [1].

... is little comfort when you and your family are staring down the barrel of a fascist's gun.

Yes, exactly, that's why we need to build our community defenses against these fascist pricks before they kill us, keeping in mind that we're in a liberal dominated community on a "civility-at-all-costs" instance where we're not allowed to talk seriously about revolution!

But as I have said to other users, particularly the comment you initially replied to:

I got no beef with people voting for Democrats in the general election, even though I disagree with their choice, because it doesn’t affect the outcome of anything. My beef is with these delegates, these people in a position of influence and power.

So go vote Democrat if that makes you feel safe, I'm not going to bring it up again because it doesn't matter, but I'm not gonna pretend that it's helpful.

But also keep in mind that these are the assholes who platformed a cop over a Palestinian in the middle of their genocide...

Again, I invite you to reread what I've commented to you so far, and to go through my comment history and see what I've said to others.

[1] Really, my position is, boiled down, that supposedly "practical" solutions that violate common morality (for example, letting people die to save money in *insert industry here*) are not really practical at all. This inextricably couples practicality to morality.

Frankly, as a human actor who fails to always act practically, I acknowledge that for similar reasons, sometimes I also fail to act morally, i.e. in laughing at the pain of other humans because they happen to collude with an evil institution. Hence why I reject the idea that I am morally superior, and that I have asserted as such anywhere in this comment section.

And in the sense that the means should reflect the ends, I admit that I haven't lived up to my own ideals, out of anger and irritation at the constant stream of bullshit being foisted on me and everyone I know by these very Democrat ghouls.

But I don't believe that I need to be a perfect moral actor to speak out about Palestine and the fascists at the DNC!

[2] For similar reasons as those in [1], ideology should be coupled to practicality, which itself should be coupled to morality. Hence why I'm not interested in anarchism as a utopian ideology where anything is prescribed, but as a practical solution for humanity to overcome capitalism.

It's called Today I Learned not Today We Learned. /s

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I personally find Don's posts pretty informative. It's usually stuff I didn't previously know, and there's a good link to the source.

So yes actually, multiple good posts every hour is good IMO.

Block them if you aren't into it.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

What kind of monster posts TIL posts in a TIL community?

87
RANT: out of gas (lemmy.sdf.org)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
 

I'm fucking tired of explaining to business ghouls that I AM FUCKING DESPERATE. I'M INTERVIEWING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO SURVIVE. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY DREAMS OR WHETHER THIS JOB OR YOUR COMPANY LINES UP WITH MY CAREER GOALS. WE ARE HOLY-SHIT PAST THE POINT WHERE I'M ABLE TO BE CHOOSY. ALL YOU FUCKING NEED TO DO IS READ THE FUCKING RESUMÉ THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR GOD-DAMNED EYES, ASK ABOUT MY QUALIFICATIONS, AND TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT I'M A GOOD FIT.

NO, your company isn't special to me, and it isn't special to ANYONE but you and your business-ghoul friends. Your company is merely the LABEL that will decorate my paycheck and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE, AND I'M SICK OF PRETENDING OTHERWISE.

And WHY the FUCK are you calling me to literally REPEAT SHIT YOU'RE TOO FUCKING IGNORANT TO READ ON THE GOD-DAMNED FUCKING RESUMÉ?

I've applied for at least 200 engineering jobs (I recounted the ones on job sites; but even that's nowhere near all of them) this year and gotten zero offers. This job search is LITERALLY DRIVING ME INSANE, because I can no longer fucking afford antidepressants and I'm on the verge of blowing up in people's faces all the goddamn fucking time. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

Try [insert nearby industry here]

Funny story: turns out, there are people who studied for degrees in those nearby industries. No I can't land a software developer, data scientist, IT, etc., job, because (1) I've applied for all those several times and not even gotten an interview and (2) my school produces students who actually studied those topics as a major!

So thank you genuinely to the dozens of people who have recommended that, I really do appreciate the help ... but that only works if you're an appealing candidate in general.

Why are you unhirable?

Bad GPA (~2.8; many firms have hard cutoff > 3 or 3.1), no experience/internships, no support/professional network, recent downward trajectory on transcript, autistic, mentally ill getting more unstable by the day, terrible attitude that's impossible to fully hide, no charisma to accommodate for my deficiencies, no access to a time machine. I KNOW how I got here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

At least when I worked in food delivery I managed to make non-trivial money. AT LEAST I WAS HAPPY while being exploited. Now I'm thousands of dollars in debt, literally a hundred pounds heavier, psychologically and emotionally BROKEN, and no closer to getting a real job than I was before.

 

I was actually going to write a fresh post, but then I realized that a lot hasn't changed since the last time I posted here. Here's the old post if you're interested.

Short version: I cannot find employment at all in my field (electrical engineering). It's not "we're not hiring", it's "we're not hiring you." I need to pay bills. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from being so close to poverty for so long.

What has changed:

  • I have been through about 10 interviews. Furthest I've gotten in one company's hiring process is to 2nd interview. Rather than 30 applications, I have filled out over 150 applications, but I've honestly lost track. No offers. I have exhausted all the entry-level engineering opportunities my college's job board has to offer. I literally have to wait for new jobs to be posted because I applied for everything. The problem is that I don't have experience. My resumé is fine (probably) as it gets me interviews, but I simply do not have engineering experience. I am fully convinced that no engineering firm will hire me in my current state.

  • I ran out of meds about a month ago, so I feel a lot more irritable. My parents have offered to pay for a psych appointment and meds, but like...once. I will take it, but I'm waiting until I know for sure I can get more meds by the time I run out.

  • To my absolute shock, I was accepted to pursue a master's degree at my alma mater, and the Financial Aid department has assured me that I qualify for financial aid. So at least I'm allowed to...go into further debt for further education. Yay.

Now if capitalism [1] were not an issue, I would immediately pounce at the opportunity to do a masters degree. I enjoy learning and if I thought I could choose, I would go into research. However, I gotta pay the rent (even and especially if I live with my parents), I gotta eat, and I gotta pay back the loans. Even if I go with the degree, I have to make money to pay the rent while I'm in school.

My degree is/would be in electrical engineering. I always told myself I'd be able to get a job after all this, I always told myself I picked a "safe" major. But I can't do this anymore. I can't be constantly living on the edge of poverty like this. And the fucking interviewers are starting to ask about the gap in my work history since I fucking graduated. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU STUPID FUCKS WON'T LET ME GET EXPERIENCE?!?!? I wish I never went back to fucking school and I fucking hate my life.

[1] Not looking to proselytize or debate politics, but I'm not sure how else to explain to people what economic impulses force me and most other humans to act against our interests. If it bothers you, replace "capitalism" with whatever you think is responsible for making ordinary people act against their economic interests.

 

I hope this is welcome here, as it's about autistic burnout. Mild CW for swearing and general negativity.

I finally got my diploma, literally just a couple hours ago.

No I'm not bragging because I'm not fucking proud. It wasn't a fucking accomplishment. I graduated with a 2.8 by the skin of my teeth. My transcript shows a recent downward trend. It took almost double the time; I did two years in four, and I took out loans to live in poverty away from home, just to limp back home to screw up the last semester.

And I fried my brain in the process. I'm not just afraid of getting a new job, but I would be nervous to even go back to the way things used to be. My parents are like "oh you can go back to pizza delivery" but what they don't seem to grasp is that I can't even do that anymore. I've been having trouble planning to do projects and activities, even things I want to do. My body feels like it permanently changed for the worse. I literally gained a hundred pounds. Taking care of hygiene feels is too tiring to finish. My ability to remember things is absolutely devastated.

It's not healthy to be on the brink of disaster for so many years.

So far, I have gotten exactly zero interviews after contacting about thirty employers. (Even the simple task of applying for work feels incomprehensibly complex. I'm good with computers, but it's just so much typing and reading the job descriptions and stuff.) What good is a degree without a job? Congratulations, I know things, but what good is that for me if I starve to death? What good is it if I can't be at peace or even comfortable? How am I supposed to pay off my loans? None of my professors liked me, I made no friends at school, joined no clubs, did no extracurriculars other than some research that I can't explain to a recruiter. I have no experience in the field, not even an internship. I don't have anything to offer an employer [1].

I have already gotten employers bring up the GPA unprompted to reject me for the position. Most engineering firms aren't interested in students with a GPA < 3. I've applied for all sorts of other jobs, but I'm competing with people who actually studied in that field. I have no projects in a state suitable to present on a resumé, and every recent attempt to start a project has gone almost nowhere.

And frankly, I'm not particularly friendly or sociable. I am ice cold, even when I'm trying to be warm. Even when I'm fully prepared for a social situation, I am still autistic, and people will inevitably find me awkward in a bad way. I'm not open about my political views IRL [2], but it's very difficult to hide my disdain for capitalism and imperialism from people who think they benefit from them [3].

I would be literally thrilled to do a master's degree in my field, as I read graduate-level material in my spare time, the rare times I have any energy. However, how could I pay for it? How could I convince an employer to pay for it with my transcript and recent downward trajectory? And if I get accepted, how do I even begin to manage that time? I could barely handle the workload of a bachelor's degree, and I can barely even handle the workload of looking for a job or even cleaning my body.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to be able to do things like I used to be able to do. I just want to go back to a time when it actually felt good to achieve my goals. If y'all have any similar experiences, advice, or just want to dunk on my situation, I'd really like to hear it.

[1] I'm not seriously shedding a tear over these "poor employers" and how I can't provide value to them. I don't give a fuck about them, fractally so. However, the "value I offer to the company" is the lens through which they view my employability, which in turn determines the level of comfort my paycheck yields me or if I get that comfort at all.

[2] I'm not a great rhetorician. If I argue for my views, I will probably make my case look worse. It takes a lot of energy to talk, so my arguments are usually really sloppy when talking in person. For this reason, I'm very careful to look like a "normie." E.g., you would not peg me for an anarchist if you met me on the street.

[3] I don't apply for defense contractors, police contractors, or prisons for ethical reasons, mostly ACAB-related. Engineers usually have no conscience of the world outside their field; e.g., a job is a job regardless of how your product gets used. This alone kills so many otherwise excellent job opportunities, and it alienated me from my peers. Turns out that the fash pays well for your integrity.

I want to go into research, like the biomedical research I did at school, but I don't think I have the grades for that. I became an engineer to do good things with math and science. I'm not giving up on that, but I'm tempering my expectations for sure.

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