RandomUser

That when I grew up I'd know what I was doing and my body would work.

I have tinnitus primarily in my left ear. After seeing the audiologist I was given a noise generator, basically a hearing aid that make a constant noise but doesn't amplify sound. - I go with white noise but other options are available.

The idea is that it trains the brain to ignore the tinnitus noise. Note it doesn't cure the cause but mitigates the symptom. It works very well for me, so much so that I'm getting a second unit for my other ear. The unit also streams from my phone which is very useful in and of itself.

This is in the uk where they're provided free on the NHS. I guess if you're in the us, then you'll have to sell the house, car and kids too afford the initial consultation.

For people like that there's no compassion, regret or remorse, it's either water under the bridge or someone else's fault.

Right! Take a deep breath. You are the same person that you were yesterday, in that, the diagnosis means very little. I had no emotional response to my adult diagnosis either, though it has had an impact down the line that i'm still processing.

I too was the weird kid, now I'm just eccentric and mostly harmless. Accept yourself for who you are, the world needs more interesting people and if those in your circle can't accept you, you deserve to find yourself a better circle.

Talk, friend. It may be cathartic, or you may work something out for yourself and find a new path. It's all good

Being ND in a Neuroboring world will likely always be difficult, do what you can to make it easier without compromising yourself. - I've stopped masking, and don't care that much if I cause a little disruption!

Another vote for obsidian. Plays quite nicely on android as well as the laptop and you can use syncthing to sync them. All for free.

One line, or a single riff... Round and round and round until something takes its place.

Unless you are taking the readings for a specific purpose under medical instruction, then so long as you're consistent it probably doesn't matter too much. You'll get sufficient information to show any trends. - take readings throughout the day, that way you'll get used to the process and your stress levels will fall giving more consistent numbers. Not a medic but have experience of BP measurement.

People are strange. NT people are stranger. I too fail to move from positive first meeting to friend (whatever that is). - to be honest it's something I'm not uncomfortable with. I don't know what is said behind my back at work, but as I can be rather ferocious at times people tend to be careful. Being good at my job probably helps too.

One thing that did occur to me, and this is not meant to be offensive is that the uncanny valley may play a part. If you don't know what this is, it started with humanoid robots that looked too human and they freaked people out, while non human robots were fine. If the masking isn't perfect NTs can have a hard time with accepting, however people on the other side of the valley can be 'endearingly eccentric' and get along fine. I don't mask anymore, I go for eccentric, it's easier. It is however a fine line and even I have to pretend to be normal sometimes.

Getting diagnised: I suspected that I was 'different' for many years. I thought I was autistic for a few years but didn't really admit it to myself. Finally I decided that I should get tested and stop hiding from it. I still only tell people on a need to know basis at the moment, but is an open secret.

Telling work: People at work know I'm not NT shall we say, but being in a technical field it's kind of accepted. Work wise however it has held me back. I've been given (well meaning) opportunities that I've not been able to thrive with. Things are getting a little more cut throat nowadays, with more severe consequences, so I thought anything that I can do to preemptively rebalance the deck must be a good idea.

It means that I can have a conversation along the lines of "you know I'm going to have difficulty doing X with Y people, so I'll need some support there, but you know I'll do Z really well. Can we work something out?" Previously I'd just struggle with, and probably fail the whole task, benefitting noone. I'd get over stressed so probably fail other things too. To be absolutely honest, I'm too old and too tired for that shit. Another aspect is that being professional is communicating where you are not able to do a task to a high enough standard. The diagnosis allows me to do this in an open and constructive way.

What do I expect to happen from this? Not much, immediately other than an amount of 'process'.

I don't currently need adjustments and am reasonably good at my job, so don't have major worries right now. However, things can change. I may be given a task that would be easy for an NT, but very difficult for me to do. This could affect my performance, with potential negative consequences over several years. Now the company knows, we can work something out to mutual benefit, otherwise I'd be in trouble.

To say I want to weaponise my diagnosis would be unfair, but if I can fairly use it to help me exist in an NT corporate environment, where otherwise I'd have difficulties, then I think I'm taking the sensible approach. Time will tell. In the UK, compared to perhaps other less civilised places, we have a degree of legal protection, but it is a two way street.

I've done what I call a 'good engineering fix' to a garage door opener. It now works fine on my bench power supply and the fob needs its surface Mount switches replacing so requires a knack to use.

It functions, I understand how it failed and what I need to do to make it work properly... So job done!

It'll now live in my pile of technical crap for the next decade.

While I have no experience of healthcare, I know that office politics and culture can be a nightmare in any workplace. What I also know is that we are or own 'brands' and if we want to be good at anything we need to develop ourselves as we see fit. This is part of being professional. You choose to do it in work break hours where you have the time and maybe are less tied. Maybe it gives you access to people who can help when you need it. All this is good, but I think it's worth noting that you will miss out on some of the office culture (for better or worse). Professionalism is as much about what you know as well as your network, and people make snap judgements about others. You seem to have come off badly this time, these things happen, but are fixable one way of another. What if you (force yourself to) spend one break 'socialising' every now and again? You may be able to turn the conversion into something more worthwhile. You may find someone who will become a real asset.

I'm waaaaay along the spectrum and I too would rather learn than idly chat. The above is very hard for me to do, but I have reluctantly found that there are benefits. It's a bigger picture thing.

Be you and do your thing, but do it strategically. I suspect that your 'brand' is very saleable, so if it's not working where you are, you can always try elsewhere.