I swear to God this wasn't me. I'm not shy about sharing my fucked up sex stories. Lol. I'll gladly regale you with the time I first bottomed, or when I nearly went to ER because of those damn metal balls lol
Yeah, like, at first I thought they were sacrificing to a false god through the effigy, but then I saw it's definitely him with the hose, clearly they are sacrificing to Hose God. I mean, good lesson for them, I guess? No sacrifices, it angers the Hose God. But I don't see jealousy...
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Is this one of the lizards you can keep as pets? Can I have a giant wall sized glass tank just absolutely full of these little derps living their lives and eating stuff and generally being happy?
American or European standard?
Here's another one that might help you out:
Warning ⚠️ ⚠️⚠️: fucking disturbing, full dead dove situation here.
Back in the wild west days of the internets, a friend of mine discovered a forum for sounding. He decided he wanted to try it, and read some of the threads on the forum. What he neglected to do was to read any of the threads about beginners and safety. He just read a few things about what people were into, and then hopped directly online and ordered some stuff. remember, wild west of the internet era here. So, fast forward a while and he gets the packages delivered. He goes to his bedroom and he tries it out.
He decided to start with a very small/thin rod, as he assumed that was best. What he got was a hard metal rod with no rounded tip and a little control box for electrical stimulation. He does what he does, and then turns on the electrics. At first, he's enjoying it. Then he cranks that bitch up to 11, because he's a teenaged idiot. He immediately spasms, jerking forward, and the sounding rod pokes/pierces him inside. He says it pierces his prostate, but when I googled it it seems more likely it was his urethral wall. Either way. He is now punctured, being zapped on his insides, naked, with an erection, and has fallen onto his bedroom floor. He is obviously making quite a bit of noise.
His mother bursts in the room in a panic, and sees her son laying on the floor, with an erection, and wires coming out of his dick, in obvious pain. This is the part of the story I should probably mention that his mom is one of those Uber Christian black church ladies. You know the easter hat church ladies? That's a normal Sunday for her. Every week, twice a week, she is at church in her finest finery.
But, in the moment, she's in mom mode, and only wants to help her baby. So she grabs hold of the wires that are attacking her child's innards, and forcibly yoinks them out of her son.
At which point he ejaculates. In front of his mother. And then drives him to the hospital.
I only found out about this story 10 years or so after it happened, many, many after we had moved away from each other. I've had dinner with his mom. I've slept over at their house, and he at mine. I cannot imagine the all out lecture he got once she found out he wasn't going to die. OMG
Oh you're so lucky their mouth is the only place your marines have stuck the crayons...
It kind of is. Like, I imagine back in the day before we had refrigeration and other methods like canning it was something to do with excess turnips and then eventually pumpkins, but it is weird.
The one that really bothers me, though, are the mini pumpkins and gourds. Folks might have one, maybe two, jack-o'-lanterns, but they'll waste dozens of those mini gourds on decoration. Those things are delicious! And if you're buying them every year, not carving them, they always look basically the same... That's a pretty good use for something like plastic or glass, and save the food for, like, food. The pumpkins I get people want to do something creative and different with each year, but the mini gourds? They just sit there like lumps!
That's fair. I've got enough marines in the family to know what happens when they're left alone and get bored. Always best to have a more mature playmate with them.
I like to throw the glottus in there whenever possible. Nice glottal stop right between the mo-tow and the sickle.
Haha. It's so fucking awful, ain't it? Lol