eupraxia

Hi, this sentiment from non-americans pisses me off and it's okay, but I feel it's important to explain why so I'm copying another comment I made today.

Goodness knows some of us are trying our best. I mean keep in mind our country is a democracy in name but systemically props up white supremacists in excess of the real popular opinion. And a media disinformation machine keeps the working class divided against itself, with open support from the wealthiest and owners of the most popular social media platforms. Social media platforms that, let's be honest, are super recent inventions we are not yet capable of engaging with safely. It makes it an uphill battle to try to reach out to people whose necks aren't on the line. And the responsibility to do so falls upon the disenfranchised themselves, who are increasingly saddled with economic and health burdens that might just kill us someday.

I get the potshots at Americans, but frankly I don't plan on taking the blame if this goes tits up - many of us did a hell of a lot more than vote to resist fascism. Nothing happened here that isn't happening elsewhere. And I'll fight the notion that citizens at large are the problem. It's a cynical outlook that serves to individualize the responsibility for a systematic disaster. Our country was built to make this possible after all. And I sure as hell know I don't plan on giving up. Kind of morbidly curious about how much of an incompetent clusterfuck Project 2025's implementation will be.

Victory or no, fascists are paper tigers and I plan on sticking around to remind them of that fact however I can.

Goodness knows some of us are trying our best. I mean keep in mind our country is a democracy in name but systemically props up white supremacists in excess of the real popular opinion. And a media disinformation machine keeps the working class divided against itself, with open support from the wealthiest and owners of the most popular social media platforms. Social media platforms that, let's be honest, are super recent inventions we are not yet capable of engaging with safely. It makes it an uphill battle to try to reach out to people whose necks aren't on the line. And the responsibility to do so falls upon the disenfranchised themselves, who are increasingly saddled with economic and health burdens that might just kill us someday.

I get the potshots at Americans, but frankly I don't plan on taking the blame if this goes tits up - many of us did a hell of a lot more than vote to resist fascism. And I'll fight the notion that citizens at large are the problem. It's a cynical outlook that serves to individualize the responsibility for a systematic disaster. Our country was built to make this possible after all. And I sure as hell know I don't plan on giving up if Trump clinches the presidency. Kind of morbidly curious about how much of an incompetent clusterfuck Project 2025's implementation would be.

Victory or no, fascists are paper tigers and I plan on sticking around to remind them of that fact however I can.

Ballots aren't where effective political action happens. Demanding better means organizing outside of election years, maintaining strong communities, and showing up to participate in political action that isn't just ticking one of a few allowable boxes. Demanding better sometimes means just doing better, regardless of the state's involvement. That isn't directly applicable to, say, genocide, but it does help build a real base of support that allows people to work outside the system to further that progress between elections.

I'm voting for Harris because I would much rather organize under her administration than Trump's. It's a dead simple choice imo, because demanding better means doing the work every other day than Election Day.

and definitely pay more attention to your local elections, those will more directly impact you and the people around you.

Can also recommend looking into local HEMA clubs as a step in that direction depending on your goals. Generally they tend to be queer friendly (if not queer themselves) and can help you learn some melee combat basics, which may be more relevant depending on your environment. I learned a lot from axe-and-shield fighting, even though it's not directly applicable in most real world situations. But the silly Viking shit was fun enough to make me really love showing up and practicing, and it helped me get confident using an axe. So now I feel comfortable open carrying a utility axe for self-defense with a lot of plausible deniability. Also taught me how to deal with a riot shield :3

The Internet has provided us a wealth of information. In fact.... maybe too much information, with questionable veracity. Social media has provided viral ways of spreading this information to people finding a truth that fits their existing beliefs, not necessarily finding the truth from an objective set of facts.

This isn't just about Trump, the GOP, or even just fascism. It's a complete breakdown of our trust in shared reality. It's an indication that humans are not as smart as we think about applying technology we've invented, or maybe not as capable as we think about connecting with as many people as the internet allows us to.

IIIIT'S LIKE RAAAAIIIIIIIIIN ON YA WEDDING DAYYYY

It's funny cause to me it's always meant a third entirely different thing! To me small talk is just starting from a basic place to feel each other out a bit, bringing up mundane things and simple questions to find topics we could drill further into.

"How was your day" to a partner would be small talk, even though I care about what they're saying - I'm just asking so they can bring up something to talk about. "Weather's been shit lately" to a stranger is small talk, but the ensuing story about how they had to rush to work late in the rain would not be.

Given it means three different things to three random people, it's almost like "small talk" actually covers a broad set of social purposes and people who "aren't into it" might actually be missing a lot 😝

Excellent answer and I'll also jump off this to say this applies to marginalized groups just as much as anyone else, in a way I see a lot of people forget all about. Some percentage of marginalized people, through being in the right place and/or putting themselves there, do experience upward mobility through capitalism and therefore identify with it.

People forget that queer conservatives exist, but think about a gay couple with a lot of wealth, living a fairly standard nuclear family existence with an adopted kid or two, integrated into a society that probably still doesn't fully trust them but sees enough signifiers of "normality" that they're willing to let it slide. Which side of the political divide benefits them the most to align with? And what ideological principles will they come to internalize in the long term? Might they come to see themselves as somehow different or better than others in their marginalized community?

I'm getting tired of the fluff pieces expressing shock at the fact that some % of black voters are conservative, clutching their pearls at the thought of that number increasing, and speculating about black churches and "social conservatism." While also completely disregarding the fact that black voters have always leaned left yet are also affected by some of the same political shifts that every other demographic is. Our first loyalty is generally to our class.

Best description of this I've read, thank you. It's not a question about men directly, it's a question about how women have to navigate a world with a small percentage of men that will hurt them given the opportunity.

I've yet to as well. It is my community so biased perspective but I have met soooo many queers with odd kinks and not a single one is into kids. Many were abused themselves as kids (not always sexually but still) and have no interest in repeating that on anyone else.

this is a phrase I've started to turn around in a trans-affirming way: god doesn't make mistakes, do you really think he couldn't conceive of a trans person?

Ultimately, we're discussing two different styles of communication that I don't see as any better or worse than each other - everyone finds what works for them in their circumstances and environment and your style probably works great for yours!

There's a fair bit of hostility and harassment I encounter in public for various reasons, and I also have some inherent difficulty processing speech and verbalizing. As a result, I take a pretty blunt approach to communication - one in which I do not mind showing that I'm angry, because that is a necessary thing to be sometimes.

I practice mindfulness a lot and do not generally feel required to say the first thing that comes to mind. But if a drunk asshole is following me home, I'm not looking to outwit em. I'm looking to stay focused on my safety while letting em know that I see em and I'm probably more trouble than they're looking for.

In serious conversation with people I care about, I do swear, but it's because phrases like "I'm so fucking sorry that happened to you" come naturally to me and are effective. The emphasis that a little bit of swearing can add in moments like that is pretty useful.

This all doesn't have to be your thing, like I said this is all down to personal preference - but it would be a mistake to assume that people who swear aren't communicating as meaningfully. It's just another tool that we have at our disposal.