isaaclyman

joined 1 year ago
[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I’ve seen a handful of new startups posting about their 4-day, 32-hour work weeks. I can only imagine they’re bringing on a scuzzton of top talent at middle-of-the-road prices.

When one of them IPOs for a billion dollars, I hope their employees are incredibly annoying about it. I hope they never shut up. I hope my LinkedIn feed is wall-to-wall “look what you can do on four days a week.” I hope they go door to door with a Rolex on both wrists and say “hello, sir/madam, I just wanted you to know I haven’t worked a Friday in five years.” I hope they post pictures of themselves relaxing with a martini at the start of every three-day weekend and people go ballistic in the comments and they don’t even notice because they’re too busy doing interviews with Forbes and Fortune Magazine. I hope I get sick and tired of hearing about four day weeks.

I’m sure as hell tired of hearing about execs that want their employees to burn out.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

This is very important if you’re a dad. You can’t just start reading the book straightaway. You gotta read it upside down in a nasal nonsense voice until your kid yells for you to stop. Then act confused. Then when they turn it around for you, open it from the last page and say “the end,” then close it again. Then, depending on the vibe, you might say, “oh, I get it now” and start reading upside down again. On a good day you can keep it going for a few minutes before you actually start reading the book.

It’s peak comedy. No one has ever been as funny as a dad pretending they don’t know how to read a book

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Pronounced REE-poe-SOH-tuh-ree

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Yes, I know I’m doing something illegal (stealing and reselling IP) but it’s in service of something legal (continuing to be rich). You can’t punish me for doing bad things while rich, it would undermine your entire legal system.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (5 children)

The article does not mention paraplegia.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 57 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (12 children)

I think we all know where this is going.

  1. The Brainchip is trendy in Silicon Valley but doesn’t do much yet. The company says cyber-superintelligence will be available in a year, tops. Investors are pouring billions into it. Everyone says you need to hop on the trend now or you’ll be obsolete in six months.
  2. It’s been two years. The Brainchip still struggles to control a mouse or search Google. Everyone’s lost interest in building apps for it. Many users are reporting severe migraines, but the company says there’s nothing to worry about.
  3. The Brainchip pipes three unskippable ads directly to your optic nerve every time you go to the bathroom. Notifications ping your brain all day long. You can get it removed if you’ve got $80k to burn, but there’s a high risk of postoperative stroke.

Yeah, no, I’m not putting anything in my brain that isn’t open-source from end to end. And even then probably nah.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Yes, it’s possible (and common) for a boat to sail against the wind by the power of its sail alone. Sailors have known this for hundreds of years but if it sounds impossible, no worries, I thought so too at first.

Here’s how it works, simplified so I can get in trouble with pedants:

The boat, first of all, has a keel (the blade-like bottom of the hull) which “locks” it into movement along a single axis: forward and backward. The wind is not going to blow the boat sideways, at least not very effectively.

Second, sails are curved, not flat, and can rotate (when seen from above). The force created when the wind deflects off the sail matches the curve of the sail, more or less.

So if the wind is blowing directly south ⬇️ and you want to travel north ⬆️ you angle the boat northeast ↗️ so it can only move northeast or southwest. Then you point the sail east ➡️ so the wind gets deflected west ↩️. Newton’s third law does the rest. When the wind hits, the boat will move northeast ↗️ because the keel prevents it from going straight east.

Then after a while you turn the boat (“tack”) northwest ↖️, point the sail west ⬅️, and continue.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to waste a lot of time on YouTube Shorts, which is the absolute worst way to waste time. I finally deleted the YouTube app completely, and aside from a couple days of withdrawals, it’s been all positive.

I mean, I don’t know anything about the latest video games or movies anymore. And I have to rely on my family to send me Ryan George skits. But that stuff wasn’t actually making my life better, it was just filling it up.

If I want to watch something interesting on my phone, I’ve got Nebula. It doesn’t have all the same content, but it turns out that doesn’t matter a lot when you just want to be entertained/educated for a couple minutes. (It also doesn’t have a comment section. Or Shorts. So yeah, unequivocally better.)

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

I’ve found that, with the proper attitude, almost anything can be dull.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

My wife is the self-designated glass recycler for our neighborhood. Everyone leaves their glass jars and bottles on our porch and periodically she drives them up to the collection bin.

Picture quality is low, but that’s three or four glass jars all next to each other.

[–] isaaclyman@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
 

Most days I receive zero packages. Two is so extravagant as to almost not be dull.

 

The box never clarifies what the difference between “floating” and “flying” is, but surely he doesn’t need both.

Even so, the unicorn charm might be the weak link of the bunch. The world is already colorful. Get a job, unicorn.

 

Bit of a nailbiter there at the end, eh?

26
Hail Chonkus (www.motherjones.com)
 

One microorganism in particular has captured scientists’ attention. UTEX 3222, nicknamed “Chonkus” for the way it guzzles carbon dioxide, is a previously unknown cyanobacterium found in volcanic ocean vents.

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