Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
I'm not a photographer, I'm on this sub for learning purposes. However, I completely understand the work you guys put in before, during, and after the photoshoot.
Step one would be to learn how to not care about other people's opinions of you. This is something you have to continuously tell yourself (as a fellow people pleaser, I understand it'll feel unnatural at first): "My feelings come before anyone else's. I am my own priority." If it sounds selfish, don't worry, it gets better with time once your realize you gain nothing from being a people pleaser (other than stress).
Step two is learning how to say no, as others have suggested. "Sorry, I'm stretched, won't be able to do it this year even if you paid" is a good start. If they are insisting, just reiterate the same thing in a different manner "I understand you're sad and I'm sorry I can't make it, but it's just too much work". Think of yourself as your own personal customer service 😂 AND your own manager. If they get mad, they get to speak to the manager, and the manager knows how to deal with difficult people :) (see Step 1).
Also, you should ask your partner to tell their in-laws (gently, at first) to back off.
Stay strong 🥰