Photography

I dunno I get help from family who are mechanics, plumbers, and carpenters when I have problems. With things. Maybe they are expecting a bit too much? But in my family it's not unusual to ask someone else in the family who is an expert in an area if they can help you. They aren't always able to, I'll take my car to a mechanic tho my broth-in-law will often say why didn't you just bring it by so I could look at it with you?
If you don't have time, just be honest.

Tell them no, you’re booked solid and don’t have time this year for freebies.

Also, your partner should back you up; it’s their family demanding the free stuff.

Ig i were to actually do people photography. The friends and family discount would be me charging them more than I'd charge a stranger. Friends and family have your number they can micromanage and can be a pain to deal with. Plus, they always say, "we just want to help you succeed." ok, so pay the prices that are my goal, not what I'd be am charging at that phase of my business.

I mean they need to respect YOUR schedule on this and work around your professional career not the other way around.

I will say this from my own experience, they are family. Some day they will all be dead and you will wish you could take photo sessions with them.

It hard but you gotta stop giving a fuck

Working commercial photographer here. I don't have this problem, but maybe refer them to another photographer you would recommend. If they insist because it would be free, well that's just a slap in the face and I would probably stare back at them in silence or change the subject.

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I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?

"I do. It does." Don't prolong the interaction. Be terse. Be professional all the time: reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. It's only awkward the first time.

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My schedule is incredibly busy.

This sounds good to me!

I’m a computer engineer, with nearly 3 decades of experience. Family always asked me to fix their network…fix their pc… fix their iPhone… make their house network work… etc. I honestly like helping them, so I try in the margins. But if I can’t, due to time or skills ( computer engineer doesn’t mean household gear expert) I just say so and make a joke. It works out fine.

“Hey guys my schedule is super hectic at the moment so I won’t be able to do the family photo shoot like usual, here’s someone I know that could get it done” hell even pay for the shoot and consider it a Christmas gift if necessary, not fair to work yourself into the ground.

lol. This applies to ANY specialized service job. Doctor. Landscaper. Dog trainer. Language teacher. Lawyer.

Family always tries to get free service. Just say sorry, no. My schedule needs to be set up for paying clients.

Pre-empt the request and send a “we usually have a photo shoot before the holidays but this year is crazy and I’m not going to be able to this year” before they make the request.

You’re going to have to reinforce the ‘no’ a few times but it’ll be worth it in the end.

When I first met my partners her family has a business and needed new portraits for their website of their office employees. Her father asked for my services and said to invoice him amount. So I did.

Then he went any complained to my partner that I charged him and that I should be giving it to him for free because I owe him for all the invites to their family events like Christmas dinners and thanksgiving. They even bought me tickets to go to cayman with them and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

So eventually I gave and does their photos for free whenever they ask, sometimes I feel like there should be a mutual ground in this.

Ask yourself what have they invested in you and done for you for you to give them this service in return if that’s what matters. ( a transactional relationship)

Or just do it since is just an annual thing and suck it up Cus “family”

Perhaps tell them that especially during the holidays you are fully booked but you can recommend another quality photographer to them? Then use it every time until they get the hint.

No, but I've mastered the art of managing expectations a long while ago., i.e, if you want free shit, take a number and wait your turn - this will happen when I have time and on my terms. And yeah, you might have to wait a while.

Make it a dinner...they could cook! And for some reason you HAVE to do the photos after eating. Maybe you walk in and say I am so hungry I can't shoot...can we eat first? Or your kids need to eat. Then they'll all be kind of tired and full and that will shorten the shoot. Everybody won't want to do the full session.

You're not going to get out of doing it...you're just not. So do it. And figure out ways to shorten the shoot and make it fun family time at home with a couple pictures at the end.

Always do it at their house or your house. Forget about locations..ugh! The location is at one of your homes...

You need to learn that a”No” is a full sentence.

Or you can put a price tag on it that makes the complainy and frustrated feelings go away.

For me? I’d say, “Sure. I’m strapped for time and energy….But I can do it if you wanna pay! For that it will be $3k, I take Venmo or cards. Just lmk”

And leave it at that. No reason to feel guilty, or bad.

I don’t know what they do for work, but if they did push back (like jerks) just ask them if they’d enjoy going into work at night or on the weekend and not getting paid to do it.

Usually when you explain it to them like that they get it.

When they ask for photos: "I'm really sorry, I have a lot of work ahead of me with many clients and I'm afraid I won't be able to set up a photoshoot this year." If they don't accept this, that's their problem.

At this point, I don’t shoot family and friends. If I do I look at it like I wanted to do it for free. But 90% of the time I’m saying no. If I don’t, they probably getting 1 or 2 photos off me and it’s because I asked them

I personally tell my family (I do a different kind of art) that I wouldn't ask them to do (whatever they do for work) for free. It costs energy and it costs materials. We MIGHT be able to talk if materials are covered. But I have and will always charge my family full price for services.

"If I ask to take a photo, it's free. If you ask to take a photo, it's paid."*

• Closest family and best friend are excluded

Literally a single session a year has you putting a page of text on the internet?

My stepfather is a master carpenter. Guess who always gets volunteered to help build things in my family? He doesn't complain, he is happy to use his skills to help out the family. Guess who is a photographer and writer? Me and that means when a family member is applying for a job or even writing a thesis they ask me to proofread and when people in my family get married I take the photos (or at least additional photos for their albums). I have yet to charge anyone any money because...they're my family.

I could go on and on, but jeez you're complaining about a once a year gift you can give to your family. I wish I had your 1st world problems.

Anyone else annoyed when family hires someone else, when they know full well that you are professional photographer?

At some point I would take at least one of them through the entire process. Show, don’t tell, what it takes to do a a shoot. Perhaps a more subtle way to show the time and effort involved.

Pick a time (month, season, whatever) when you aren't as busy and tell them you have these dates available if they want a session this year. And that you can't do it during the holidays any more.

Not totally related, but kind of in the ballpark. I'm a systems engineer and work on Linux servers all day. I finally had to put a stop to my family (and friends) always asking for computer help. I was starting to spend weekends helping them fix virus issues, or in some cases reimaging their systems. Finally told them, please don't call me anymore.

Got a hot shot over here

Your schedule is too full of paid gigs to accommodate this year.

Are they suggesting you turn down paid work to do their photos for free? Yes I like photography but I like it more when I'm getting paid.

I get people asking for free prints

“I am busy. What do you do for me that takes hours of your time?”

Just asked to pay $5k for a simple head shot. End of story.

You cannot just say an outright NO, since they're still family, you have to offer explanation. Here are some options. Adjust accordingly to your situation.

"I'm sorry I cannot do it this time, you know, I'm really drained and burnt out lately."

"Most I can do is a quick snap of everyone together, something that doesn't feel like work this time."

"I'd love to, but my dates are fully booked, the other free dates are when I spend time to edit. Would you prefer a schedule 3 months from now?"

"I'm sorry I cannot do our lovely portraits this time, would you like me to recommend to you a friend who can do it? I'm helping out my colleague by giving him some extra projects, but please prepare a nice talent fee also."

These will take some practice to say, but if you truly value your time and energy, these will come out genuine.

Goodness, I feel like most of these comments just expose how selfish people are. I feel for you and empathize with your situation. It's not simply a matter of learning how to say no or creating boundaries because your dynamic with your in-laws is probably more complex and nuanced.

I don't have a perfect solution for you. Maybe something to help frame it is - would they do the same for you? Can you count on them for favors? Is keeping a tight relationship with them valuable to you?

For me, my answers to these questions is yes. So to answer your original question, yes I am annoyed. But I've come to embrace it, as much as I can.

If it's completely burning you out, then I think you can maybe pull back on the level of detail and attention you might give to paying clients? I'm willing to bet 50% effort is still going to be impressive.

If I had a family member that did roofs professionally, I wouldn't feel comfortable or respectful going, hey, could you just come swing hammers for a few hours and redo that little patch over there during the holidays? Don't worry about getting all of it, we have the next few Christmases to get the rest...

You have mouths to feed, and bills to pay girl. If I was in your shoes, I might say "I just have the extra capacity to do one quick shot this year without putting our family income in jeopardy. I have a lot of deadlines I have to meet and am already burning the candle at three ends. If we want to hire one of my colleagues, they do great work, I think they run $500 for a session which is pretty normal for that much work, I can ask them if that's what you'd like to do."

Many people as you well know think it's just so easy to push the button and your fancy camera does all the magic. ("yOuR cAmeRa tAkEs grEat pIctureS").

Family is the reason i sold all my gear a few years ago... i got tired of being the one with the camera at the family events etc...

As a hobbyist i’ll gladly volunteer. Especially for portraits since portrait photography is my specialty (tho i will use my smallest card which is a 4GB and avoid using my main or backup cards)

“Suck it up and be nicer” to who? Bc yourself, hell yes. Learn to say no. To them? No.

Tell them it’s a holiday and you need a break from work. End of. Do they offer their professional services to all the family as an annual event free of charge? Probably not, so neither should you be expected to.

I'm in IT.

If you can't give your family free photos, then you're just a stingy git. It's your family, not some random off the street.

Yep. Learnt my lesson the hard way. I was doing weddings as an almost part - time job basis I had enough work. My cousin got engaged to her gf of 13 years (it wasn’t legal in our country then it was so she proposed)

I offered them free engagement photos on the basis I could use them for my business but I knew my style wasn’t there for the wedding and I assumed they’d hire someone else.

1 week before their wedding (it was very quick, under 2 months and it was organised) she sent me a list of photo poses they wanted and told me where to go and who to talk to. I was like “excuse me? I’m not taking the photos!”

Turns out my Dad had told them that I would do it and not once did they think to speak to me beforehand. I obviously did it because they were never going to find someone in 1 week but when I sent them my $4k bill (I worked 7am to 11pm for them covering a SHIT ton more than I normally do in weddings) they said my Dad said it was free. I said nope. Served them the bill then when they didn’t pay I stopped doing family photos of friends and family and I’ve been to their house many times and not one photo of their wedding is hanging anywhere

If I can't take a few photos for a family member or a friend, please put me down, I trust that in your case you never ask your mechanic friend for help, never call on your brother to help you move house, or do you just not have any friends?

Either say no or charge them 🤷🏻‍♀️. sometimes, these people are not worth our time even though it's family.

I did this twice with my in-laws and the extended family, and it's never a few pics, plus them asking if I can make them look slim or small and edit this and that. Like, I'm not a magician! 🙄 ugh! I can tell you more about it, but I changed, and I charge them if they want my service, no exemptions.

Call it their Christmas present. Work out what you'd spend on their Christmas presents all combined. Give them that much work.

People who don’t like me because they can’t exploit my labor aren’t people I’d be doing any free favors for. Or even really speaking to. Family or not. They’re manipulating you if you truly feel like they won’t like you just because you won’t perform free labor for them. They don’t respect you. You need to talk to your partner about this and they need to speak with their family about it.

Tell them that you will be happy to do it, but only shoot macro now. After a single round of dead skin photos, they won't ask again. (For bonus points, alter the white balance to generate a true cadaver-like quality. If they complain, give wildly enthusiastic speeches about how this is true art, and how you are going to enter their nausea inducing images in various national and international photography contests. Tell them that you hope they will model again next year, since you have committed to a new series on bodily fluids. Relentless and unreasoning positivity combined with toxic performance is a truly unbeatable recipe for aggravating your target while leaving them no avenue for complaint. It's awesome, provided that one is willing to appear somewhat unhinged.)

Tell them you don't have time for real and put whatever reason that you prefer. If you do it few times, they will get the hint.

No need for ugly bill to sent to family and such. That's just awkward.

With the inflation and economy as it is is a perfectly valid and reasonable reply is to say “Sorry I cannot do it for free anymore. I have to charge you X”. Because everything costs more now than it has. She cannot expect free photos every year, that is using you. Be firm and strict, you can say NO to family and is an acceptable answer.

I'm not a photographer, I'm on this sub for learning purposes. However, I completely understand the work you guys put in before, during, and after the photoshoot.

Step one would be to learn how to not care about other people's opinions of you. This is something you have to continuously tell yourself (as a fellow people pleaser, I understand it'll feel unnatural at first): "My feelings come before anyone else's. I am my own priority." If it sounds selfish, don't worry, it gets better with time once your realize you gain nothing from being a people pleaser (other than stress).

Step two is learning how to say no, as others have suggested. "Sorry, I'm stretched, won't be able to do it this year even if you paid" is a good start. If they are insisting, just reiterate the same thing in a different manner "I understand you're sad and I'm sorry I can't make it, but it's just too much work". Think of yourself as your own personal customer service 😂 AND your own manager. If they get mad, they get to speak to the manager, and the manager knows how to deal with difficult people :) (see Step 1).

Also, you should ask your partner to tell their in-laws (gently, at first) to back off.

Stay strong 🥰

This is what happens when people who do not know anything about anything don't know anything. This is what happens if your field of work was never explained to someone but they only saw the outcome.

Same with all artists, other people see the outcome and don't even think about the process. How could they know if they are not told or try it themselves. Just because taking a picture on your phone is so easy, they just think snapping a picture with a better camera makes the photo better. Not the lighting, or the location, or the posing(directing) or anything else.

This is why I rant, I rant all the time even tho I do not have to. I rant to family and close people just so they know how demanding something is... but in my case it even might not be. I do graphics design, web design and "development" (mostly kitbashing code and visual editors, but its sort of development). Everytime I am on a project with someone like a relative (which is a bad call to begin with) I take more time than I need to make it seem like it takes longer. I can do a good looking page from scratch in an afternoon and 1-2 more days for whole package with logos and all. Its the rest surrounding it that is the time consuming part. With me the "opposite" effect is that people that are so computer illiterate and think all this is some magic thing so they are always surprised how fast I am.

Family? No not really

Literally this. Been asked to bring along my camera to my brothers and my sisters wedding - no payment (wouldn’t even ask for much) and they both had photographers so that’s just a big no.. Honestly it’s what made me fall out of love with doing photography, that my own family wouldn’t pay for my services. Only person I wouldn’t charge is my partner (theatre photos) and that’s because I don’t want to, and it’s getting me to do something I love doing, and 3 I just don’t want to try and earn from it since from losing everything on my hard drive and just not being asked enough/paid - I want to actually fall in love with the art again

Never do free shoots - you’ll never get out of it