this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
390 points (99.2% liked)

196

6504 readers
2660 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

As a coffee drinker, if I was invited for some coffee and did not in fact get any coffee I'd be both a little confused and a little annoyed.

[–] MrEnitity@sopuli.xyz 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

In Brazil, "café da manhã" (morning coffee) is the term for breakfast, but it's often shortened to just "café."

There was a mobile blood donation set up during Covid and I asked the group chat if it was okay to have coffee before donating, and the response was, "Yes, you should definitely be well-fed before donating blood."

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

That's pretty good!

Is the context where if you had said can i drink coffee before, it would have been less ambiguous?

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah once a date invited me up for coffee and I was enjoying my time with her and thought another 15 minutes or so of conversation would be nice, but then it was suddenly like she forgot she invited me in or something because she just started getting ready for bed instead of making any coffee! I just politely said I needed to get going so she didn't feel embarrassed about forgetting she had invited me for coffee, though I think I failed because she did seem a bit upset.

So I tried to be considerate and go through a coffee shop drivethru after the next couple of dates. Even then, she offered coffee the first time and I pointed at my cup and said I'm fine, though that seemed to make her feel even more embarrassed as she looked like she was about to cry after that.

Then the next time she said, "I think we've been having a miscommunication when I've been inviting you up for coffee, I didn't really mean coffee, but I was being a bit immature and dancing around what I really wanted and then getting my feelings hurt when you didn't get the message. So I'll just say what I mean this time. Would you like to come up and have sex with me?"

I informed her that's where babies come from and she already knew and still wanted it. Then she was trying to say something about being on a pill and I noped out of there. I am not interested in a relationship where my partner likes to get high on pills and have babies. That just seems irresponsible to me.

[–] Sarcasmo220@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 hours ago

You put in a lot of effort on this joke so I'll give an upvote and this comment