this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2026
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Donald Trump is not living until 2035 under any circumstance, unless we symbolically hold his bloated corpse in a supermax.
If we left his remains in the wilderness to be consumed by scavangers, it would probably be his most positive contribution to the world.
Don't look up "air burial", you have been warned.
In 2030 his consciousness is extracted and preserved as a neural network by Peter Thiel in a desperate attempt to control the maga movement. In 2033 it is seized by the FBI, uploaded into a SpaceX orbital data center and locked in geostationary orbit, guaranteeing operation for the next 10,000 years.
It explodes on the launchpad
Brick it shut and let him rot, it's better than he deserves after all he has done.
I started asking this a few years ago to people as kind of a joke, but it's less of a joke now:
At what age of Trump still being alive will you go "wait a second..." and start to suspect there is a drug or treatment that the elite have access to that extends their life that they aren't telling the public about?
I don't mean better access to higher quality medical care. I don't mean a personal team of doctors. I mean a drug or treatment that can extend lifespans by decades, even for those who live unhealthy lifestyles.
See, here's the thing, we would've heard about it. Trump and all his ilk can't keep their fucking mouths shut and would've been lording this shit over us. Someone would've said SOMETHING, because none of these people can keep a secret.
Ok, sure. But I want you to answer that question. At what age will you start being suspicious? I want you to have a number in your head, so that when that time comes, you don't ignore it.
You really think he could keep his mouth shut about it?
Now