this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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[–] jtrek@startrek.website 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I mean.. most people are kind of boring. It's not surprising that most profiles will thus be kind of boring.

The biggest factors I think are

  • You live someplace shitty.
  • Your photos are bad. This is different from you are bad.
  • Your profile has red flags.
  • You're writing unimpressive messages.

The apps suck and are a capitalist nightmare, but there's stuff you can do to improve the odds as a free user.

I just remembered some guy on lemmy that was like "i can't get any dates on these things!" and when pressed, he revealed that he'd talk to women on there for a couple weeks, and then was surprised when nothing happened. No shit. You gotta ask people out.

[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

I would say 1/100 people on dating apps are people I would actually want to talk to. I feel like the normal people just have people talking to them irl so they don't go on dating apps (as would I if I weren't stuck at home)

[–] possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In my experience with Hinge- it was because I was openly queer. Hinge was far too normie, I had much better luck with Bumble.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 2 points 23 hours ago

That could be a factor. My perspective is limited to one of a man who doesn't date men. I had some nice (and one memorably, laughably bad*) dates with queer people on hinge, but it wasn't my primary experience.