I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I'm ending up marrying my best friend's sister who I've known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life's weird when you're socially awkward.
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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anytime i asked out an awkward shy girl she tells me to f off, despite flirting with me.
and of course the outgoing demanding women can't get enough of me, even though I loathe them.
Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and others are owned by one giant company called Match.com. You are not ugly, a monopoly just puts you down the pile by algorithm to prompt you to pay to increase your chances of more likes (that's not to say that making your profile look good doesn't matter). There are independent dating apps like Coffee and Bagel and Bumble, but either those apps don't have many people or copying Match's anti-consumer behaviour like Bumble does.
Can Lemmy be used for dating?
Any platform can be used for dating
I have read about people trying to use LinkedIn for dating, and I feel like that's a red flag. Those men should probably be quarantined.
Exhibit 1:
...if you're brave enough
There's Alovoa... an open source platform but it's even less densely populated than Lemmy
I bet someone did just that and succeeded
I honestly can't afford to lose my wife because there's no way I would find another partner in the modern dating scene. I feel like the bar is way higher than it was in the early 2000s.
social media has convinced folks anything less than perfect means your partner is a total loser.
and everything you possible do is wonderful and perfect and above and criticism.
it's literally insane and the reason why most people are single. they want their partner to be like an elite marathon runner while they can barely walk 5 blocks without getting winded.
people were way more humble and chill before social media brain rotted everyone, but that was over a decade ago at this point. also has nothing to do with dating apps, it's just how folks thing about relationships now.
Dating apps should be publicly funded like a kind of public utility. And private dating apps heavily regulated and prevented from advertising. Because currently they making profit by keeping you single.
Like water and air, love should not be for profit.
We need 3rd spaces, online dating is just worse in general. People meet at trading card places and card shops because that's just where people hang out, but that doesn't exist anywhere else really besides bars.
People are becoming more isolated and more online, it's way easier to see if you like someone (and you'll be exposed to many people) if they happen to be in your vicinity rather than typing in text on a dating app.
it doesn't mater, folks social skills have atrophied and their anxiety/depression levels have skyrocketed.
i do well on dating apps, but most women i meet have poor social skills and mental health problems, and refuse to address/acknowledge them. I've also seen this same thing in real life and it's even worse with generation z. folks just no longer how to assert themselves or communicate. I ran a 3rd space for a decade almost, and basically quit because a few years after pandemic it became weirder and weirder and unstable and hostile folks kept coming and causing problems and blaming other folks for their rudeness.
you're not going to be able to form healthy romantic relationships if you refuse to take care of your mental health and practice basic social graces.
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(6 replies)
The woman I am going to marry is the kind of person that would never use a dating app. Literally the same week I gave up on online dating, she asked me out at work.
Never had success trying to meet girls on the internet. Sometimes you just have to get lucky and hopefully there's someone attractive who is interested in you wherever you work/study/hang out.
Meeting girls on the Internet absolutely works, it's just that you should do everything except what you're told.
Do NOT use dating apps. They are, for the most part, designed to keep you hooked and never actually find a worthy person. If you find your love, you stop being their client.
Use regular social media/weird and obscure places crafted with love/communities by interest/whatever, just not dating apps.
I found my girlfriend in an online chat, and we're together for 2 years. She moved in with me, and we couldn't be happier.
I feel like nowadays people like if someone doesn't have a social media and doesn't or never had any sort of dating app
I remember back in 2015-ish a guy I knew at work claimed he couldn't get traction on dates because he didn't have social media. I was like, I'm confident that is not the primary problem here.
But yeah, today there's a bigger backlash against big social media. There's more than just weirdos who don't have Facebook et el
I've been judged negatively for not having social media but never by anyone I was actually interested in dating. Being obsessed with social media is a big turn off for me.
I mean.. most people are kind of boring. It's not surprising that most profiles will thus be kind of boring.
The biggest factors I think are
- You live someplace shitty.
- Your photos are bad. This is different from you are bad.
- Your profile has red flags.
- You're writing unimpressive messages.
The apps suck and are a capitalist nightmare, but there's stuff you can do to improve the odds as a free user.
I just remembered some guy on lemmy that was like "i can't get any dates on these things!" and when pressed, he revealed that he'd talk to women on there for a couple weeks, and then was surprised when nothing happened. No shit. You gotta ask people out.
I would say 1/100 people on dating apps are people I would actually want to talk to. I feel like the normal people just have people talking to them irl so they don't go on dating apps (as would I if I weren't stuck at home)
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(2 replies)
Probably just messaging fake accounts/bots to make it look like women use the app but then real women get the flack for it
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Reminded me of a terrible joke.
Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.
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