(that's the closest emoji I can get to a villager)
this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2026
298 points (99.3% liked)
196
6712 readers
2129 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Yeah I really won the lottery with him. We met back in the mid-2010s on OKCupid. This was back before the whole dating site industry consolidated down to one company and really enshittified. But back then at least (not sure now), OKCupid had these really great personality quizzes. And if you actually engaged with them, did a good number of them, and answered openly and honestly? Well back then at least they were using tests designed by actual psychologists to find you the best partner match based on you responses. And we had a 99% match.
We talked for a long time, long essays and hours-long phone conversations between each other. When he asked to meet? I took a leap of faith. I was already falling for him, had been talking for weeks. But while I didn't put my trans status on my profile, for safety I would always disclose before meeting someone. But that means I only disclosed after already getting close enough to someone to be comfortable meeting them. I chose this method for safety, but it also meant I got my heart broken again and again. But him? I came out to him then, and....miraculously he didn't mind. I rolled a die with my heart on the odds a random cis guy wouldn't mind me being trans, and I rolled a nat 20. He didn't care. He loves me for how I am, not how I was. And not a chaser, he had no idea of my trans status until I told him.
We met, fell in love at first sight, and it's been a whirlwind of life since then. We had the initial period of white-hot love, and things did settle down into a long-term soulmate bond over time. But we really complete each other. It's hard to explain. We just get each other on such a fundamental level. We complete each other's sentences. We know when each other are in distress or pain even without saying anything verbally. I had the privilege in life of being able to marry my best friend. He's my everything. And I'm his. Been together for nearly 12 years, been married for 8. We even got married in a church. (One of the progressive Lutheran variety.) My dad actually walked me down the aisle.
I tell people that magic does exist, because I've seen impossible wishes come true.