this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2026
430 points (96.1% liked)
196
6739 readers
1026 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I guess what I am trying to understand is what part you are being critical of? That the wife would choose to divorce their husband because of his infidelity? Or the concept of marriage being a legal concept?
Obviously, but I fail to see why you chose to specify western/American law/culture when we see similar social/legal constructs all over the globe regardless of their attitude towards polygamy.
What is your definition of a sexually liberal society? Regardless, the socially acceptable mores do not inherently apply to the dealings between two consenting adults who have defined the bounds of their own relationship.
I don't really understand what you're implying here. Imo she felt hurt and shame about her husband breaching the terms of their relationship and felt the urge to lash out at her husband. Now I don't really condone that behavior, but I can understand why someone would feel that way if I shared the same belief system.
Also didn't understand what you're going for here, but I suspect that is mainly due to me being middle-aged.
Okay, so the overall criticism is about sexual exclusively in general, but specifically when tied to legal ramifications. I guess I can understand that, but to be honest, I don't really know if I agree that sexually inclusive relationships are any less fickle. I also don't think the fact that they are western/American really is relevant considering sexual exclusivity isn't really unique across different cultures.
I think the confusion I had was because in different post it wasn't exactly clear if you were assigning criticism towards both partners, a single partner, or the concept of monogamy.
This is something I still don't think I would fully agree with, but I can see your point of view. I personally think it's perfectly fine if two consenting adults want to agree to enter a monogamist relationship.
Like I said, I personally don't think it's very tasteful, but I wouldn't read too much into it as a comment about monogamist domineering. To me I would more attribute it to people being messy bitches about their personal business.
Lol, yeah...... Would not have guessed there was that much information conveyed in a couple sentences. You are really making me feel my age.
Yeah, I already said it was trashy..... That does not affect how fickle inclusive relationships are? I think you could reasonably claim that breakups in inclusive relationships are less dramatic, but I wouldn't say they break up any less frequently.
For one, I never argued in favor of the theatrical aspect. Secondly I don't think the law is utilized to reinforce it, at least in countries with no fault divorces.
Just because you cannot legally marry more than one person at a time does not mean you cannot engage in sexual inclusivity. Nor does that mean I agree with all aspects of marriage laws in the US, or that I think bigamy should be illegal, but that isn't exactly what we've been discussing.
Lol, I'd hardly say that not being on snap chat qualifies as being uneducated...... Though I would be impressed if you were actually older than me, probably not a lot of people older than me on snapchat.