this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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Autistic safe person breakup (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by Capitanmaroon@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
37 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hey, I know that all relationships are different and I'm not looking for direct advice, but just curious as to how other people have experienced this.

My partner has audhd and has said many times that I am their safe person. They struggle making friends and don't have much of a family so (to me) a lot of pressure has fallen on me in that role.

I am looking to step away from the relationship but whenever I talk to my partner, she follows our conversations with a meltdown and says she doesn't have a safe person and doesn't feel safe any more.

Can anyone explain their experiences with this and things that may have been helpful or things that made it worse?

Thank you

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[โ€“] SmoothOperator@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A lot do good advice here, just wanted to add that it's made a big difference for my relationships to start refusing this type of dynamic, stating clearly to my partner that they need a support network beyond just me.

It's a tough thing to say, but absolutely necessary in my opinion for any long term relationship.

[โ€“] Capitanmaroon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah there is which I'm greatful for. I think that's a very good idea. When we got together we talked about that kind of thing and I thought we were on the same page. But I think she had all intentions to, but feel back on habits of old that I didn't realise were there until later in our relationship.

Yeah. From my POV it's how we were made to socialise and be part of our community. The rise of the internet and life expenses have made this smaller and smaller but that's a rant for another day haha