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Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
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you can get better. i thought the same thing a few years ago when i finally started going to therapy. in the beginning it didnt feel like i was doing anything, like it wasnt working. i was so deep in masking, my maladaptive coping strategies, my numbness and fear. but slowly i started challenging myself to change, to address the ways i hurt myself to protect myself. ive learned a lot and changed a lot, and i sometimes even feel some hope that i can be a real person, and sometimes i even feel like i am. theres still so much to do but im getting better all the time.
its hard, and it hurts, and its so fucking scary to try to heal the parts of you deep inside that other people beat into submission, but you can do it. just one little step at a time.
I feel like a big thing for me is realizing that 'better' does not mean normal
So much this.
But yeah, missing a few essential human pieces is actually kinda no big deal, 'cuz all you need to make up for it is a few people who can accept you as you are.
I gave up on being people years ago, but since I found my persons, they've helped me blossom in ways I'd never imagined could be real. =O