this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I was invited to my brother's wedding, but he didn't invite my mother because he still has a petty grudge against her, and he obviously wants to turn me against my mother. I've also ignored the RSVP, but I don't know if anyone knows this.

I did not tell my co-workers about the wedding. I didn't even WANT to bring the subject up. But my co-workers know my brother very well, and they REALLY want me to go to my brother's wedding. I told them "Let me check my schedule" because I don't want to talk to them about my family drama, but they told me "You have to go. You want to see them walking your nephew, right?"

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to avoid this conversation? How can I tell them I'm not going without creating drama?

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[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 week ago

Is there a cultural aspect that is not being stated? Because if there is a cultural expectation that you attend the wedding, that's important context.

I also get the sense you are on the younger side. Your brother can't "turn you against your mother" without your consent.

If you want to go, go. Talk to your mom and tell her it's nothing against her. If she has a problem, that's her issue.

If you don't want to go, tell your brother you don't want to go. If he gives you shit about it, again that's his issue.

I don't understand why you care about your co-workers' opinion. Just tell them you don't want to go. If they ask, tell them it's because your brother has a grudge against your mom and then let your brother deal with it. If they ask what the grudge is, tell them to ask him.

At the end of the day, it's not your problem.

Unless it is because you're leaving things out in your post.