NFL

Welcome to week 12 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! What an exciting week of games. Without Canada, the Steelers stock is rocketing. The Packers played their best game against their best opponent, the Eagles Eagled and the Bills Billed. What impact will The Cowboys winning like Kramer at the dojo have? How many spots will the Vikings fall after Dobbs continues to learn the playbook? Is it time to admit the broncos could be good? Discuss! 30/32 Reporting

1. | | Eagles | -- | 10-1 | Are the Eagles beneficiaries of luck? Probably. But for the third game in a row, they’ve done enough to for luck to matter. Part of that is a wild split between their first and second half performances. The 2023 Eagles have a tendency to start games slow, but by EPA/play, they are the best 2nd half team in the NFL by quite the margin. The resilience of the team to fight back in consecutive games against top QBs is part of their DNA, led by the unflappable Jalen Hurts. Next up, an NFC Championship rematch with the 49ers.
2. | | Ravens | -- | 9-3 | 9-3 sitting pretty atop the AFC. Sunday night's showdown was a tale of two Ravens teams; a dominant defense refusing to lose and a sputtering offense suffering an identity crisis. I believe most tuned in Ravens fans had an uneasy feeling heading out west and it was all but coming to fruition. Failed 4th downs, missed challenges, and a nigh impossible sub 50 yard miss from Tucker had the Ravens leading by the slimmest of margins with 2:30 left to go in the 4th despite being +4 in the turnover battle. It all compiled to a dreadful "here we go again" sinking feeling but luckily for us no one outchargers the Chargers. An absolutely sick and brilliant 4th down play design by Mike Macdonald sealed the deal. Looking ahead the Ravens get a week off to heal up some key contributors(Ronnie Stanley, Marlon Humphrey) before an absolute gauntlet of a schedule to close out the season(Rams, Jags, 9ers, Dolphins, Steelers). No time to rest for the coaching staff though as Todd Monken and crew have a long week ahead of self-scouting and working out the kinks if this team is ever going to reach their Super Bowl potential.
3. | | Chiefs | -- | 8-3 |
4. | | 49ers | +1 | 8-3 | The 49ers have finally gotten payback for a moment that lives in every fans memory. Brock Purdy, Deebo Samuel, Fred Warner, George Kittle, Nick Bosa and Charvarius Ward celebrated their 31-13 victory over the Seahawks Thursday with Turkey and Cornbread which they also shared with the 49er fans in attendance. The team heads to Philly for a rematch of the NFC Championship game on Sunday. There is no love lost between these two franchises, with both fans and players trading barbs since the Eagles came away victorious in the playoffs.
5. | | Cowboys | +1 | 8-3 | Dallas has a top 5 MVP odds player, a top 8 OPOY odds player, and TWO top 4 odds players for DPOY. Highest scoring team in the league, highest point differential in the league, thirds fewest points allowed in the league. 5th in total offense, third in total defense. After a bit of a midseason droop, Dallas has been on fire lately. They are getting QBs benched, coaches fired, and Dolly Parton jamming out in the stadium. Its go time.
6. | | Dolphins | +1 | 8-3 | The first Black Friday game in NFL history ended in a bittersweet way for all Dolphin fans. While we did go on the road and demolish the Jets 34-13, we ended up losing our best pass rusher and a budding star in Jaelan Phillips for the rest of the year due to the shitty MetLife turf. After battling injuries throughout the year, Phillips was finally finding his groove and had recorded at least 1 sack in his last 5 games. An incredible force in the run game who recorded 5 TFL in the past two games, he also had the highest motor of any player on our defense. Fortunately we have a very good player in Andrew Van Ginkel (PFF's #9 Edge rusher) who will be doing his best to fill in Phillips shoes.
7. | | Lions | -3 | 8-3 | The Detroit Lions are now 0-13 all-time on Thanksgiving when the moon is in waxing gibbous. These astrological fates took aim at the offense to ensure victory, turning the greatest strength and core of the Lions identity, the offensive line, into a pressure-generating clinic, disrupting time for Goff who, in turn, played one of his worst games of the season. Unfortunately with the Lions, anything but perfection will open doors for mass panic and worry, as it is well documented that this team has been wholly unable to get any sniff at success in the Super Bowl era. Despite the shadow of history, however, the turnover and o-line issues seem correctable, and this coaching staff has shown the ability to admit and correct issues within the team before they fester. Detroit will look to get back to offensive form against the New Orleans Saints next week, where Dan Campbell will be facing his former employer for the first time in his Lions tenure.
8. | | Jaguars | +1 | 8-3 | The Jaguars demonstrated to the Texans that they're not the same team from earlier in the year. While a far cry from flawless, the team put up a performance that makes it clear they're a squad capable of, and ready to play good football. The Jags' schedule from here on out is mostly lax sans a firey Baltimore team due to be faced in a few weeks. If they can keep their performances up, the #1 seed is a real possibility with a little help. Also, the offficiating for this game was fucking horrid, and it's disgusting to watch zebras shift things so wildly every week.
9. | | Bills | +1 | 6-6 | How many back breaking losses can one franchise take? The easy excuse is to say the officiating was blatantly one-sided. Im usually against that argument, but this time? I mean it was pretty awful… Still, this team failed to put away a game that was well in hand. That’s become a hallmark of the McDermott era —the Bills have been mediocre in one-score games, and downright bad in overtime. Sure, this week we were a Cook drop or a couple of Tyler Bass misses away from it being a non-issue, but the defense folding at the end of the game falls on coaching. The playoffs are still decently attainable, but to get there this team will have to put away a couple of talented opponents.
10. | | Browns | -2 | 7-4 | Scorigami! The Browns managed to cough up the ball enough to give the Broncos a massive edge in a game that also cost them Garrett. Could it get worse? Sure. Dorian Thompson-Robinson is in the concussion protocol.... So come on down future Browns legend Joe Flacco! The Browns will face the so-so Rams in LA next sunday.
11. | | Texans | -- | 6-5 | Takes deep breath Referees in the NFL have a very hard job and it’s completely understandable that from time to time they might miss a call or two, or three, or eight. I’m not going as far as to say they had a bias against Houston because the Jags also had a huge no-call too, but I don’t believe anyone can say that it wasn’t an egregiously officiated game from Clay Martin’s crew. Anyways, as to what the Texans could control…for as statistically great of a day as CJ Stroud had on Sunday, the final two drives really put into focus what needs to be worked on. For the second straight week Stroud faced 4th and short and went for the homerun ball instead of trying to pick up the first. I love Stroud’s boldness, but this type of play, along with a couple of ugly sacks on the final drive that hurt Matt Amendola’s FG chances, has derailed late drives in close games. The Texans secondary once again was missing Jimmie Ward and Trevor Lawrence took full advantage as Calvin Ridley couldn’t not get open, and once again Tytus Howard went down with a knee injury putting the O-Line back into question. While the division may be all but out of reach, the Texans are still firmly in the wild card chase with a schedule that includes three of the other teams also in the hunt over the next 6 weeks.
12. | | Steelers | +1 | 7-4 | The Bengals have a defense who statistically hover around 30th. The Steelers just got rid of Matt Canada. Something's gotta give, and it did on Sunday. The Steelers had offense. In fact, over 400 yards of it, which apparently is the first time that's happened in eleventy billion years by the way pundits make it sound. Also, the reports of Pat Friermuth's demise were greatly exaggerated. It just turns out that you need to use him to get production out of him. Who knew, right? Being real for a moment, which is it really? Was getting rid of the OC that much a jolt? Are the Bengals that woeful on defense? It's probably a little bit from Column A, and a little bit from Column B. But in what ratio? That remains to be discovered over the coming weeks. Also worth noting that for once, Jaylen Warren was opening up the run game for Najee Harris, not the other way around. This backfield is becoming a two-headed monster. Now, the Steelers have shown that they can hurt you with a power run game from Harris, or have best-in-league pass pro from Warren along with his versatile quicks. There's a lot more to say about Dionte's attitude, Faulkner's new duties, the easy schedule to close out the season...but it should be said in the coming weeks as these things develop a bit more. Right now, this is a solid running team with a new attitude who are playing to the right strengths of the right players on offense.
13. | | Broncos | +4 | 6-5 | In a universe where the gods exert control over the fates of mortals, true miracles happen only where the gods arent looking. It is in these blind spots that the Broncos have found success. With each successive miracle, though, the likelihood of drawing the gaze of the football gods increases, and the inevitability of a correction grows. The most fun is had in things that the gods do not intend. Our most recent heist stole from the natural order our fifth consecutive victory. We may have been slightly favored in this contest, but last season saw so much hope spilled that nothing is left for us to take for granted. We venture on, ever guarded against confidence, silently fearful of each opponent, constantly hoping that our spilled hope congeals into something resembling pride. The coagulated dread of a near decade of failure lurks as a deadly clot, circulating through our bodies and threatening to burst through the thin walls of our playoff dreams.
14. | | Seahawks | -2 | 6-5 | Life is full of mystery. Are we the only intelligent life in the universe? What comes after death? Why are the Seattle Seahawks such masochists? After showing out strong and taking down the Lions in week 2, the Seahawks have had a tough go of things. The offense has been... brutal. Zero offensive touchdowns against the contenders we have played (3 points against Baltimore, 6 against the 49ers) is not going to cut it. Going 0-2 against the Rams is not going to cut it. The defense has had their struggles as well. Devon Witherspoon is the bright spot of this team, making plays consistently. Seattle is lucky to be in the playoff picture, but the Packers and Rams loom in the shadows. Seattle now has a 3-week stretch of Dallas, San Francisco Part II, and Philly. Going 0-3 is not a death sentence, but the Seahawks reallyyyy need to come away with at least one victory. Let's see what you've got, Pete.
15. | | Colts | +3 | 6-5 | If the season ended today, the Indianapolis Colts would be in the playoffs! Yes, the same Colts who lost rookie QB Anthony Richardson for the season after four games. The same Colts who started the year without All-Pro RB Jonathan Taylor, who will potentially now miss even more time with a new thumb injury. Fiery head coach Shane Steichen has turned this team around on the backs of Gardner Minshew and Zack Moss, and with the weakest schedule in the league still to come and the two toughest matchups both coming at home (PIT, HOU), the Colts are solidly in contention for their second playoff appearance in five seasons. For the Shoe!
16. | | Vikings | -2 | 6-6 | Brian Flores deserves a ton of credit for how much he has turned around the Vikings' defense -- from 9th-worst defensive DVOA last year to 9th-best this year (and 8th in EPA/play allowed) -- and that's after losing six of last year's starters, including key pieces like Za'Darius Smith, Eric Kendricks and Dalvin Tomlinson. Flores has revamped the defense with a unique zone-blitz identity, and last night his defense held their opponent to just 12 points, despite the offense throwing four separate interceptions. Unfortunately the Vikings' offense deserved to lose more than the defense deserved to win, and now the Vikings head into the bye contemplating whether to hand the reins over to rookie QB Jaren Hall or veteran backup Nick Mullens or to stay the course with the Passtronaut despite the heavy turblence.
17. | | Rams | +4 | 5-6 | Welcome back Kyren Williams. That was about as complete and balanced as a win could possible be: 33 passes for 229 yards, and 33 runs for 228 yards. Don't look now, but with a win over the Browns, a SEA loss @ DAL and GB loss vs KC, the Rams will sneak into the 7 seed.
18. | | Packers | +6 | 5-6 | I've maligned our defensive coordinator and our special teams unit frequently in these writeups, but am I about to give them a little credit? Rashan Gary was a monster with 3 sacks and the DL sustained constant pressure against Goff, forcing 2 huge fumbles from Jared and three fourth down stops. Defense played a very solid "bend-don't-break" type of game, generating enough big plays to frustrate the Lions offense. The special teams unit got a 4th down stop of their own and downed three punts inside the 10. Despite missing an extra point (that's three games in a row now, Carlsen has to be better), a pretty solid game from the third unit. Of course the big focus for most is on Jordan Love and Christian Watson's excellent game, but this is merely a continuation of the positive trends from the offense over the last month or so. Still stuff to improve upon all around but this felt like our first real complete game since the Bears in Week 1. But then again it's the Lions on a waxing gibbous thanksgiving game so how impressive it is really?
19. | | Bengals | -4 | 5-6 | The Bengals somehow kept the game close despite not being able to move the ball or prevent the Steelers from moving the ball. Maybe getting Tee Higgins healthy will give Jake Browning another chance to show off his full potential, but the more likely scenario is that the Bengals will tank the remainder of the season and try again next year.
20. | | Saints | -4 | 5-6 | Pain
21. | | Chargers | -2 | 4-7 | This fucking team. They score 38, they need 41. They have arguably the best game of Herbert's career, the receivers can't catch a thing. Defense steps up and holds the AFC #1 seed to 13 points (until a garbage time score), offense scores less than 17 for the first time all season. This fucking team.
22. | | Falcons | +1 | 5-6 | Terry was fired up like this was his Super Bowl, and thankfully his best free agent acquisition, Jesse Bates, played like it. Although Pitts only caught two passes for 22 yards, MVP Bijan and London were each dangerously close to 100 yards each. Big props to Ridder, who handled pressure better than weeks past, took baby steps again as he remains unfazed by Arthur Smith's game of musical chairs. When this offensive line is playing up to its potential and salary, they are a collective force. Fotunately, this in-sync play is coming at a time the offense needs to be relied on more, and Atlanta ran the ball 41 times behind that line, with Allegier and Patterson carrying 10 and 8 times respectively. They played to their strengths and won, maybe Arthur should consider that again next week. The Falcons have a very winnable game next with, with Saleh having worse quarterback problems than Atlanta, and this season has already proven nothing is given. Shoutout to Koo, who (with a Justin Tucker miss) has become the NFL leader in field goal percentage.
23. | | Buccaneers | -3 | 4-7 | I don't mean to get political but what the fuck is a well coached football team???? The NFC South is just 4 kids stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat. It looks like a football division, it acts like it's one, and it demands to be taken seriously, but everyone just points and laughs at the poorly masked incompetence of it. If you told me that after this week the Buccaneers would be one game behind the division leader and an NFC South a coach would've been fired I would've been happy because that meant "Either Buccaneers won or Bowles got fired". It was neither as the Tampa Bowles got Minshew'd and Todd continued his best impression of a human that's possessed by a Ditto.
24. | | Raiders | -2 | 5-7 | Getting real close to mock draft season boys.
25. | | Titans | +2 | 4-7 |
26. | | Jets | -1 | 4-7 | It turns out that benching a terrible quarterback and replacing him with another terrible quarterback is not going to suddenly jumpstart the offense. Fire Joe Douglas.
27. | | Bears | +2 | 4-8 | I remember my first time. It was not pretty. I couldn't quite stick it in, but had to settle for some shots from a distance. It definitely felt like I blew it early (though it ended up finishing fine after all was said and done). It wasn't what you'd call 'must watch' primetime viewing. Congrats to Matt Eberflus on his first NFC North win!
28. | | Commanders | -2 | 4-8 | For anyone who had the volume off during this game so you could hear your drunk uncle talk about the government, you should know that Tony Romo was literally frothing at the mouth in describing Dallas as a Super Bowl bound team. When will they ever learn? Cowboys fans, your destiny is to be a perennial competitor in the top half of the league who leaves the playoffs by the divisional round, either by the hand of Aaron Rodgers or the carousel of 49ers QBs. Our destiny is to be a perennial bottom 10 team that yours gets to dunk on - learn your place, fools. In good news for Commanders fans, it seems that getting bent over by Tommy Devito was okay, but letting Dak Prescott beat you is going too far - thus ends the reign of Jack Del Rio at Defensive Coordinator. At 4-8, attention now turns to draft prospects and the awkward cheering for your team to both win and lose every week. You'd think it uncomfortable, but this is where Commanders fans have spent our lives. A season like this feels like visiting my parents house. My next prediction - stealing one or two more wins that keep us just out of reach of the top talent in the draft followed by a controversial coaching hire whose either a well-known fraud, a washed old guy, or Matt Patricia. Wake me up when it gets interesting.
29. | | Giants | +1 | 4-8 | In a game where both teams had a large portion of their fanbases rooting for a loss, the Giants decided to suck just a little less than New England and eek out a second straight win under Tommy DeVito. While The Paisano Prince still has a ways to go in terms of avoiding sacks and pulling the trigger on open throws, he has easily exceeded any expectations that could be placed on a rookie UDFA practice squad QB. Jalin Hyatt had the best performance of his rookie season and the defense continues to impress, but is this a scrappy Giants team or one that simply took advantage of a weak part of their schedule? We may get our answer after the bye, when New York takes on a rising Green Bay Packers team.
30. | | Cardinals | -2 | 2-10 | Since the 2017 season, the Rams are 13-2 against the Cardinals. Coincidentally, 2017 is the year the Rams hired Sean McVay. Hard to say if these two events are linked. It’s actually insulting that you all don’t put mass amounts of money on the Rams to win. Put down $20 for Tyler Higbee to score a touchdown, it’s literally free money. If you are a Rams fan, congrats on having three bye weeks in a season, that must be nice. If you are a Cardinals fan, I implore you to specifically boycott watching games vs. LA. Just don’t do it. You know what will happen: Cardinals will score early in the game, misleadingly showing they’re going to compete, Rams decide to go up by 30 points, Kyler Murray gets hurt late in the game, REPEAT AD INFINITUM. Go do something else. Be a Suns or Diamondbacks fan. Just refer to this image any time you want to watch this team
31. | | Patriots | -- | 2-9 | Poplar Trees are fast growing and easy to propagate. In the spring right before leaves bud, you can cut Poplar branches of 1-2 feet in length and just shove one end in the ground to plant a new tree. The situation on the ground in Foxborough is getting weirder by the day. It’s a bit like a Pug or a French Bulldog where it has gotten so ugly that it’s crossed the line back into beautiful (to some). The absolutely mind boggling turnovers are no longer heartbreaking disasters. They bring sweet blessed relief (to some). A significant contingent of fans are celebrating the tank in full throat. For them, the worst thing that could happen this week was a win against the Giants. It was a challenging game to lose, but the local militia had the on-field leadership to get the job done. I know. I know. “Welcome to the neighborhood, Pats fans. This is a way of life for some of us.” I get it. I grew up here. I was drinking Apple Slice(™) at tailgates prior to watching Tony Eason (‘83 draft #15) take the field against Dan Marino (‘83 #27) This is me kicking around back in my old stomping grounds and finding a familiar comfort. It may not be living high on the hog, but we have fun where we can. Dark times call for dark humor. It’s that or give in to a bitterness and anger that I just can’t be bothered with. Football is fun. It’s a game. The hard times make the good times all the sweeter. There is a pattern of pruning I am personally drawn to called “pollarding” where you cut all growth from a tree above shoulder height. If you do it at the right time when a tree is still in its juvenile phase, the tree will not only survive but thrive. In this way you can harvest wood from the same tree every 3-5 years without having to kill it.
32. | | Panthers | -- | 1-10 | Another loss. A close game with a potential game tying drive in grasp but a disastrous 4th down screen play shattered all hopes. You would think that this is news but unfortunately losses are not news anymore, just the norm. The big news out of the Carolina Panthers organization is that Tpper has decided to fire head coach, Frank Reich, after going 1-10 in the first 11 games of his tenure. Reich era over in record time. Now, was Frank doing a great job? Not at all. The offense looked pitiful and he is an “offensive minded” head coach so that had to hurt his chances but what was he supposed to do? The O Line is comparable to the Berlin Wall in 1989, simply not there anymore. Terrible trench play and an abundance of injuries have made it IMPOSSIBLE for Bryce to have time to do anything, and in the rare instances he does have time, he looks solid. Our wide receivers don’t get open often. Is that Frank? It could be with his schemes and concepts but they also need to be able to play football, which they don’t do often. The defense has looked fine especially considering how many injuries there have been so no analyzation there but the major offensive woes cannot all fall onto Frank’s shoulders. Fitterer assembled this joke of a team under Tpper’s extremely watchful eye. Have you ever worked a job and the big boss is constantly breathing down your neck telling you everything is wrong when they don’t even touch the day-to-day operations? It’s really hard to succeed right? Well that’s what happened to Frank. He had to meet with Tpper every week? FOR WHAT?! Got damn let the football minds be football minds. Tpper needs to sell this team if he truly cares about the organization. And Fitterer is simply a yes man, which Tpper loves. Back to the regular job analogy: The kiss ass right below the big boss that you know sucks at his job but will laugh at all the big bosses shitty jokes and golf with him just to lose on purpose and inflate their ego (even though its already huge. How is it getting inflated?) That is Scott Fitterer. Now I don’t think Tpper will sell any time soon but if he fires Fitterer, there is hope to be had. On to he Bucs next week I guess. Winnable? I don’t even know anymore. We are going to be down bad for a bit but these are the times that make the potential good times so much sweeter (or so I’ve heard. It’s pretty dark and terrible down here at rock bottom). Keep Pounding.