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From my experience, men who follow feminism get pats on the back while men who ignore feminism get laid.
The issue isn't the men. It's what women value. Men just do what they think will get them laid.
Might be an over simplification, LMAO 😂 But I do think you're right to an extent. Some of the loudest 'feminists' can be pretty negative towards men. While I've found most real feminist to be good people fighting for equality, they often don't seem to want to stand up to these women. I don't know if they fear they will be perceived as antifeminist or what. But it ends up with conversations of gender sometimes entering the 'take your lumps' territory if you're a man. Like, "Thanks for taming the rapist inside you, but us ladies have it covered." Where as being around women with strong traditional values, it can be really sad that they don't respect themselves, but at least they respect you. In moments of selfishness it can feel so good to bask in that respect, even if it's not deserved.
I think pretty much any political movement has the magnetism to attract people who hate the other side. But when the other side agrees, you win. So maybe make your cause hospitable for anyone who wants to further it.