this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 22 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What? This is saying that the dudes already so detached from reality that they don't find any women should even further detach from reality. If you are an open-minded cis dude who respects women and sees them as equal human beings you'll have no problem finding anyone.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If you are an open-minded cis dude who respects women and sees them as equal human beings you’ll have no problem finding anyone.

It's not always that simple. For example, I cared for my Dad 24/7 which involved a convoluted pill regime (and a series of alarms throughout the day). My social life took a real hit. There are also mental and physical health issues, as well as financial aspects.

All that said, anyone thinking this is the solution deserves to be scammed because it is hardly informed consent.

[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

OK, let me rephrase this into "if you are ... you will be as likely as cishet women to find someone to date". My point was that cishet men may have it hard to find someone because they are not catching up with progressive and emancipatory values. There are many many heteropessimisstic or otherwise frustrated women out there searching for a guy that does not treat them like shit.

But sure, if you don't have the capacity for a social life or for dating then obviously this won't be as easy. My comment was a response to the premise that cishet guys have it harder in dating and that they should be allowed to scam people.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My point was that cishet men may have it hard to find someone because they are not catching up with progressive and emancipatory values.

It's worse than that - things seem to be regressing, with a widening political divide between men and women, especially noticeable in the younger adults.

It definitely feels like the modest progress that was made is now being eroded away

[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, it's pretty disheartening and even frightening. I don't know how to educate men on feminist ideas and get them on board. And being antifeminist doesn't even benefit them that much. There are so many men living their life miserable and ending up in jail because of their toxic masculinity and societal expectations of men. And I'm certainly interested in helping cis men get better, reconnect with their emotions and learn about emancipation. But at the same time I don't see how people who are not cis men can do so much to really help them. We are pretty busy surviving them and supporting each other.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

And being antifeminist doesn’t even benefit them that much.

The only people benefitting are those peddling the lies to disgruntled young men, partly as a grift and partly as misdirection from the real sources of their issues.

But at the same time I don’t see how much people who are not cis men can do so much to really help them.

And it shouldn't be your job to fix young men but I am as stumped as you and I worry about people like my nephew who is early teens.

There's !mensliberation@lemmy.ca but I don't know if that's not just preaching to the converted.

[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago

Yes, it is really a frustrating situation. Since you seem to be a man, maybe you can be a good example to your nephew? But well, not so easy either unfortunately :(

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It seems very annoying to me when cishet dudes whine about how hard they have it. It might be true, but the problem is usually that they've been brought up with a misogynistic worldview and hegemonic masculinity. That's what I referred to by calling them detached from reality.

It is like a narcissistic person telling you how hard their life is while abusing you. You can empathize with them because they sure have a hard life. But as long as they're not self-aware and reflect on their doings, I won't have much empathy with them. Same goes for cis men.

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wow... you are way too deep into whatever it is you're into and are currently unable to see the shades of gray.

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Nope, I disagree. I see shades of gray and have some few friends that happen to be cishet guys. But I know very few cis men that are not bigots, feel entitled, treat women like inferiors, etc.

But, do you agree with the original statement I replied to?

[–] exocrinous@startrek.website 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Narcisstic Personality Disorder is a lifelong disability with no cure. You can be a nice person with NPD. You can be a wise person with NPD. You can even be a healthy person with NPD, because disorders and illnesses are two different things. Having NPD is like having type 1 diabetes. You can live a normal life, but it's still going to take constant attention to treat, and some stuff is always going to be just a bit harder for you. The myth that people with NPD are abusers is pseudoscientific bigotry. There are plenty of self aware people with NPD and there are plenty of non-abusers with NPD. People with NPD are most likely to be the victims of abuse compared to the abuser, but the kind of people who prey on the disabled to satisfy their own desire for cruelty don't want you to believe that.

[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago

Oh hello, you again! Sorry, won't discuss with you any further about this topic. Nothing new to be said and you newer replied to all the scientific studies I gave you why a high percentage of pwNPD tend to abuse others.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why do you label the link "Anti Commerical-AI licence" instead of "CC BY-NC-SA 4.0" as it is titled?

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 5 points 6 months ago

Because people keep asking what the license is for.

Anti Commercial-AI license