this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
868 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12295 readers
2040 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 55 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Look, I'm all for equal representation and equal opportunity for everyone. The US had a black president already, which is awesome, but I'm not thinking the next step here is to "recently convicted felon". Maybe try for a woman as president first?

Just saying.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 53 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (10 children)

There's a whole long LIST of things we can try long before settling on "first felon president."

  • First Woman President

  • First Openly Gay President

  • First Asian/Pacific Islander President

  • First Albino President

  • First Teenage President

  • First Werewolf President

  • First Teenage Werewolf President

  • First Robot President

  • First Robot Teenage Werewolf President

  • First Normal President

We could go on and on too.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Try and start easy with an openly atheist president and work from there

[–] ours@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Key word being "openly". Funny Trump's followers think he believes in God and isn't just pandering to them.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 4 points 5 months ago

Yup that's why I put that word in there

[–] loopedcandle@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

First Robot Teenage Werewolf President

I'm ready to serve.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Robot Teenage Werewolf President

Robot Teenage Werewolf President

Robot Teenage Werewolf President

Leader of the free world; Werewolf power!

[–] pikmeir@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He's the USA's most fearsome being.

He's a werewolf in a high school, and a teen.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

With a magic talking resolute desk voiced by Maurice LaMarche as Dom DeLoise

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 11 points 5 months ago

First Normal President

Hey now, let's be realistic here.

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

i'm pretty sure theres a lower age limit for president so unfortunately Teenager, Werewolf teenager, and Robot teenage werewolf are out

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Drats, we were so close.

[–] geissi@feddit.de 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

First Robot President

Is Nixon available ?

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago
[–] tacosplease@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Cruz looked like he had a shot in 2016

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Women, Asian and Pacific islander people are all normal. I propose a woman like that who is normal, who multiracial and LGBT. Usually mommas know what is best for the kids. So why not the ultimate love momma? You mess with us and we'll f-u up. You work with us and we'll love you to pieces. So I propose momma bear. Even better if she's well educated with a medical PhD and...but I mean, why not a hotel maid? My mom was a hotel maid and she's got the best heart and mind you'll ever meet. Don't need a PhD to be president.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 5 months ago

Usually mommas know what is best for the kids. So why not the ultimate love momma? You mess with us and we’ll f-u up. You work with us and we’ll love you to pieces. So I propose momma bear.

Wasn't that Palin's shtick?

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Women, Asian and Pacific islander people are all normal.

thatspartofthejoke.jpg

Don’t need a PhD to be president.

Not holding our leaders to a higher standard is how we got here. I want my leader to be much smarter than me.

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How about a young guy with truly progressive ideas? I find it hard to believe no one ever gains enough traction with social media the way it is, or maybe it's because social media is the way it is. Or maybe people like that just don't get into politics.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

How about a young guy with truly progressive ideas?

What are you, insane????

[–] IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

This is ridiculous! We will never have a teenage president because you have to be 35 to run. Proof the whole thing is rigged.

[–] Cosmicomical@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Off topic but I'm not ok with a robot president, because it would mean we made fully conscious robots, which is a recipe for disaster. We need to build flexible and smart tools without an ego, not an actually superior iron race.

[–] MockingMoniker@lemmy.world -1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The gnostics wouldn't accept any president. I'm expecting a response in relation as to why i chose a cult.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’m expecting a response in relation as to why i chose a cult.

This reminds me of one of those furries who always has to interject in any role playing situation that they're furries and their character is a furry despite nobody in the gaming session actually asking or encouraging that person.

[–] MockingMoniker@lemmy.world -1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

The things you think that people care about are most often the things people care least about.