this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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The idea that I could be doing less activity than walking 3 miles a week and not understanding how bad I'm feeling because of it... Is extremely depressing. I'm so glad I figured this out like 12 years ago!
Just the idea of not doing something that you are doing makes you depressed?
The initial comment resonated so much with me, that I feel the need to answer, even though I wasn't even asked: YES
A few years ago I was in a really dark place. I lost 3 kg in 2 months and when I wasn't at work, I was lying in my bed on the verge of crying, half-listening to YouTube just to scare the thoughts away.
But the thing, that finally got me out of the loop, was getting myself a houseplant, after watching a plant YouTuber for a while. And when I got home, rather than cry, I obsessively cleaned every speck of dust off the leaves, measured the soil moisture with a stick and just watched it be. And something just clicked inside me and I realized that I had found something I wanted to do; probably forever, if given the chance.
Still have the same plant; cut, repotted and propagated. And while I'm at a much better place now - physically, mentally, financially - just thinking about giving that (houseplants) up feels like going back.