I'm not sure how assaulting children is ever going to build an effective relationship between kids and their parents. Parents should represent safety and unconditional love because then the educational message will have an easier time being accepted by the kids.

[–] Steve -2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

You're choosing to use escalating language, instead of accurate language; With the choice of "assault", you're attempting to arouse an outsized emotional response in the reader. As a debate tactic, It's a dishonest manipulation. You should try to avoid doing that.

Besides, assault is a legal term, which includes merely the threat of violence. Battery is the actual use of violence. So even in what you were trying to do, you used the wrong term.

[–] stsquad@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Ok I fail to see how battering kids helps them develop a bond of trust with the carers.

[+] Steve -8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's better. It's still escalating language, and dishonest. But at least it's more accurate.

And the truth is spanking doesn't build trust. Not on its own anyway. It's all about the context.
Following through on an established rule with a known consequences does actually promote trust. It works as part of a holistic approach to reward and punishment.
Spanking generally isn't needed with many children. But with some children, it can be a effective tool when used appropriately.

[–] rimu@piefed.social 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

when used appropriately

...and there's the rub. Far too often it's not used appropriately. And people's ideas of what is appropriate is colored by whether they too were beaten as a child.

[–] stsquad@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think it's often used with younger kids because parents don't understand why their kids are acting up and can't work out how to "get through" to them. As kids get older they become a lot better at understanding and really words should be the only tool you need.

The dreaded phrase "I'm not angry just disappointed" should cut deep when (rarely) used because the kids understand their parents have their interests at heart. If they don't then something has gone wrong building that relationship of trust and respect.

ETA: forgot to say of course positive reinforcement is also key. Kids need to know when they get things right so they are not walking on eggshells worried about getting things wrong.