this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
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Ask Autistic People
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A community for anyone to ask autistic people questions: non-autistic people to learn about the autistic experience and autistic people to get information or validation from their peers.
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Rules
- Follow instance rules
- Text-posts only
- Questions must be directed at autistic people
- If you are answering a question and are not autistic, please state so in your comment. Otherwise, it is presumed the respondent is autistic.
Keep in mind: Autistic people are a diverse group with diverse experiences and perspectives. Not one represents the entire community.
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A few of those items are only redflags if done in a specific way. For example about "non-reciprocal": if you are in a wheelchair and your partner is arachnophobic, it makes sense that you are the only one who takes care about dealing with spiders while your partner is the only one who helps you move around. I recommend that you start consulting this kind of list only when something starts to "not feel right", otherwise you'll poison all your relations before they even start (because there is no such thing as a perfect relationship). Still I'm no relationship expert, so take my advice for what it's worth.
I agree! Most people do some of the things on there sometimes. Sometimes someone does something that makes us think they're a bad person. Sometimes we make a promise and don't follow through. Sometimes we participate in a competition and try to win. And, sometimes we don't want to be alone. That's normal human behavior. However, if most of these are present most of the time, then it's a sign of a poor situation.