Unpopular Opinion

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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was (lemmy.cafe)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by spujb@lemmy.cafe to c/unpopularopinion@lemmy.world

136 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It's probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent "bear vs man" debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I am a cis male mod of multiple communities here on Lemmy and all I can say is that I try to moderate as fairly and equitably as I can, but I also don't have time to read every single comment on every single post in the communities I moderate, so you have to flag posts you find violate community rules. Every community I moderate has a civility rule, and shouting down or harassing women who are telling personal stories would be against those rules.

But I may not know that it's happening unless it's getting flagged.

[–] the_artic_one@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You can't moderate women's perspectives getting constantly downvoted while men's get upvoted. I doubt any of the comments OP mentioned actually violate any rules but getting ten comments ignorantly telling you you're wrong whenever you share your perspective tends to make one feel unwelcome even if the comments are all technically civil.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 3 points 6 months ago

Good insight. While there definitely was quite a bit of rule-breaking comments (largely now acted on as of today), the consistent wall of "technically respectful" disrespect did not help and provided a level of camouflage for the very bad actors to get by.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

How exactly are you determining/validating people’s gender identity on an anonymous text based forum?

[–] the_artic_one@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago

In the case of the bear discourse, most comments self-identified either explicitly or implicitly.