this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
99 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26903 readers
1743 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] iii@mander.xyz 17 points 12 hours ago (4 children)

It took me 30 years to learn I've CPTSD.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 10 points 10 hours ago

Same.

I guess the 'lesson' would be:

If you can do a thought exercise about a or multiple personal relationships you have with adults, and you conclude that a blatant, repeated and normalized double standard exists where if you treated these persons they way they treat you, for just one day or one week, and you know they would become enraged, furious and indignant, that their world would collapse around them without you bearing emotional / physical / mental / financial / planning responsibilities or tasks for them...

Run. Leave. Block. Cut off all contact.

Such people cannot be changed, and your life will be better without them.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What self-care have you learned thar you can briefly share?

[–] iii@mander.xyz 4 points 11 hours ago

What you think is characteristics of a personality, might be symptoms of abuse.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Did you learn how you got that?

[–] iii@mander.xyz 8 points 12 hours ago
[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

But what concrete self-care tips have you derived from that?

[–] iii@mander.xyz 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Fake it till you make it is a sucessfull postponement to existential questions.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Isnt that problematic for your authenticity tho?

[–] iii@mander.xyz 2 points 11 hours ago

That's a later problem

[–] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 1 points 11 hours ago

No one is genuinely authentic. Maybe a few people who are incapable of doing otherwise due to issues.

Sometimes I'm not even authentic to myself. I can be different people from one day to the next. Generally it's an attempt to be better followed by reversion to mean, but sometimes not.