this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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I don't blame anybody for staying with an asshole over being alone. For one thing, being alone really, really sucks. For another, a lot of assholes have clever ways to manipulate you into staying with them.
Sadly, most of those 'clever ways' are just being manipulated from the time you popped out of the womb. Religious communities and highly conservative communities never tell you anything but that being a good person means being... subservient. It's difficult to imagine for people who grew up and had a variety of people tell them all sorts of things, encouraging questions and learning, but it is 'normal' for every single person in your life to tell you the same thing and you are punished and ostracized (which, mentally speaking, can be worse) if you go against the grain in any way. Escaping that and the mentality it brings takes luck and help. Many of them will even lash out if you try to help, because of that fear of anything different that was ingrained by the group.