this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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MAGA's gonna party like it's 2020!

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[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 66 points 14 hours ago (8 children)

Y'all are gonna roast the shit out of me, but I really have a strong urge to buy toilet paper before all the weirdos start clearing the shelves (which I am fully aware makes me one of the weirdos)

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 51 minutes ago (1 children)

I mean this is the reason there are shortages. People fear shortages, so they buy extra so they wouldn't be hit with the shortages, actually causing the shortage.

The whole toilet paper thing was hilarious

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 35 minutes ago (1 children)

Which is why I didn't say I was going to do it. I just said I had the urge to do it, and admitted it was silly and weird, we're saying the same thing.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 15 minutes ago (1 children)

I was just adding to what you said

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 4 minutes ago

My bad if it came off as aggressive.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I invested in a bidet shortly after the pandemic mania. I laugh in the face of toilet paper.

Just wipe your arse on the curtains.

[–] dickalan@lemmy.world 0 points 1 hour ago

Buy a fucking bidet

[–] pappabosley@lemm.ee 8 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Still have my emergency supplies from covid. During the really scarce time, I ended up buying some of those massive rolls that go in public toilets, totalled 2.4km of tissue paper in the box.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Is that the stuff that needs 3ft per tear before it resembles some sort of protection against stinky finger?

[–] sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 hours ago

It's called Getting in touch with your inner self.

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Shit tickets and mountain money come in many denominations.

[–] painfulasterisk1@lemmy.ml 11 points 9 hours ago

I also have a box of sandpaper

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 69 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Bidets are good, decreases your TP expenses long term. Just a bit to pat dry.

[–] pappabosley@lemm.ee 5 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Having just spent 2 weeks in japan, I'm not looking forward to my first poop at home. Am going to be looking at cost of upgrading.

[–] j0ester@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

Dude, trust me.. that booty will love you. I never liked it, until my wife got me in to it. I feel fresher than ever.

[–] banshee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Alpha bidet is where it's at

[–] ngdev@lemm.ee 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

just get one that fits under your toilet seat they're like 40 bucks and take 5 mins to install

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Feh, you vastly underestimate how crap I am at plumbing.

Like the comic relief janitor of old, I have a gift for picking up every wrong part before I find the one I need.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

The problem with bidets is that they require electricity and often there isnt any available next to the toilet. So you have to burn your house down and start over from scratch.

[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

What kind of fancy bidets are you using?? I've never used one that requires electricity, and I've spent months in Italy, all over the country.

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 5 points 8 hours ago

They're thumb nuts, you don't even need tools. There are pictures. It's really easy.

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

If you're that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.

[–] pappabosley@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

The waterline for my toilet is inside the cistern

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 26 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I wonder where most bidets are manufactured

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 32 points 14 hours ago

Buy them now while you can leverage remaining on shore inventory.

Also, get your car maintenance done now.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago (7 children)

I want one so bad, but I can't get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the "do it anyways and ask for forgiveness" method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I'm willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it's a good idea.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 1 points 59 minutes ago

Get one with a heated seat and he'll forgive you even if he doesn't come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I'm at a friend's house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 hours ago

They're not mandatory if they're attached. It's not gonna jump out and douse your butt without you asking.

[–] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 35 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to use it.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

He's scared he'll like it to much.

[–] j0ester@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

It’s true.. we all do.

[–] sheridan@lemmy.world 14 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

They're very easy to install. It's almost as easy as installing a shower head.

There are also compact battery powered portable handheld bidets that work about as well as the real thing. I have one I take with me on trips.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 16 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

I have a portable one too and it's not exactly what I'd call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can't recommend it for travel though because in spite of the "portable" label, it's terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here's the one I've got.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

This is what I use at work:

https://a.co/d/clAv3hV

It's just a cap that you can put on almost any soda bottle or water bottle.

I keep an old 20 oz soda bottle in my office to use with it.

Great for travel and very discreet.

Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it's exactly what I'm looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I've grown accustomed to.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 5 points 13 hours ago

Roflmao

Maybe I should upgrade...

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 13 hours ago

Ah yes, the old "two person" bidet. Truly the sign of a committed relationship.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 1 points 13 hours ago

The portable one is my rec too. I have a rechargeable one. I refill it with warm or cool water depending on my preference and then bippity boppity.

I like it because it's also easier to aim and control.

If I was going to get one to hook to the toilet, I'd get the type that's like a kitchen sprayer attached to hose.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

What is his objection?

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Assuming your financial decision making for a purchase of that magnitude isn't at the "we need to make this decision together" threshold: do it.

He doesn't HAVE to use it just because you bought/installed it.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Yeah, I can get one on Amazon right now for less than $50, so I can definitely afford it with my own spending money. I really should just do it.

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

I gotta say especially if you live in a warm area....there's no going back...bidet for life

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Just take a shower of you're out of tp, you twat.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

You're so aggressive for no reason. I didn't even remotely suggest I actually bought the TP I was just commenting on my silly thoughts. Lighten up. It has to be miserable being so miserable.

[–] krelvar@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago

We chose to do a little bit of "buying ahead." Where I would buy one pack of TP, I bought a second one, and when we use the first I'll get another. Nothing we're not going to use within a few months anyway, not looking to build a TP throne but just a bit of cushion. We were already mostly doing this anyway since covid because it seems like there's random shortages here and there that didn't happen prior, or at least not enough to notice.

Really, nothing beyond what I'd want to have for a natural disaster where we're on our own for a few days. Trying to be prudent without being a weirdo.