Not The Onion

16740 readers

2754 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

745

Ron DeSantis Says Floridians Have Right to Hit Protesters With Cars (www.newsweek.com)

submitted 3 days ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

156 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 120 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

"And so if you drive off and you hit one of these people, that's their fault for impinging on you."

He continued, “You get 20 points for adult males, 30 points for adult females, and 50 points for children. Points can be redeemed for ‘DesantisBucks’ once you reach 500 points or more.”

EDIT: a word

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Frankenstein approves

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Deep cut

[–] badgermurphy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

The whole "hitting pedestrians is worth points" trope originated from Death Race 2000, I think. Still, yeah! Weird old movie.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

DeSantisCoin, a new crypto backed by the leader of Florida Man

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can I get it in the form of an unregulated memecoin?

[–] Sturgist@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

Best I can do is bath salts

[–] JohnAnthony@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

God damn, I managed to eat an onion on a /c/nottheonion comment... I rushed over the article to find where that quote was from, only to feel dumber and dumber as it dawned on me that it is, in fact, way past bedtime.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

He may not have said it, but I guarantee he’s thinking it

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

What's the exchange rate to Stanley Nickles?