this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2025
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I’ll start. I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been indifferent about having children. I love peace and quiet, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind having kids if my partner really wanted them.

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and married for 11. I’m his second (and final) wife. He has three kids with his first wife. She was supportive of him taking a second wife, with just one request: no more children. That solidified my decision not to have kids.

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[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

inflicting this reality upon another person

Now, I have no childrearing plans for myself, but this phrase stuck out to me even so: you're assuming what their experience will be.

[–] Linktank@lemmy.today -4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

They can fall into two categories:

A: They are self aware, intelligent, and able to understand the horrors of reality. Making life an affliction.

B: They are a moron, like most people, and are actively causing most of the horrors that make this world such a shit place to be in the first place. So while they may be blissfully unaware, they are actively making the world a worse place for it.

Either way, you're a bad person for bringing another person here.

[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Either way, you’re a bad person for bringing another person here.

~~you're~~ *"such a person is" - not me, since I already stated that I'm childfree.

Still, I don't understand; you're experiencing life right now and likely enjoying it enough to chat with strangers online since that's what you're doing, right? If life is as horrible as you make it out to be, wouldn't you instantly KYS without even hesitating? The fact that you don't suggests that life is worth living or at least trying to tolerate for a better future, right? Are you part of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement?

I may be childfree but that's just because I personally can't stand being tethered to raising a kid and I know that I'd be a bad parent, but we do need a certain minimum number of people for society to not go Children of Men-apocalyptic. There are certain extraordinary people (albeit few, sure) who are able to make life decently good for their kids, and it's unfair to say they suck just because we had bad parents/circumstances. And if you're talking about the ecological hellscape that awaits us, there are just as many reports of 12-to-19-year-olds who are making staggering scientific advances, like even solar panels that can get up to 75% efficiency, etc. I just read an article of a 10-year-old who graduated from college. Brilliant minds are being honed, so I'd suggest that you take steps to curb your pessimism and not let it bleed onto others in a blanket, stereotyping way.

[–] Linktank@lemmy.today -2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, because as we all know, not enjoying your life means you instantly kill yourself.

[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 1 points 19 hours ago

That's even more reason to not get upset at parents; who are you to say their kids wouldn't enjoy life or have hope of better enjoyment in the future?