this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
44 points (90.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32515 readers
2739 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So I was hearing these radio people talking about first dates and they seemed to push the idea that it's almost a given that people would be drinking alcohol on first date. As if it was a courtesy.

I was surprised to find after Googling this that maybe half of people online think the same meanwhile others are fine with just getting coffee or something.

I can maybe see how coordinating to maybe meet at a bar is somehow more feasible after work and perhaps works out better during the week VS having to go somewhere during the day on weekend but I would imagine it depends on the person.

I for one don't understand how drinking makes sense where I'm at. Even I'm in a good metro area but I'd still have to go downtown to be walking to a bar. It's the US, so I still feel that no matter what, people still have to drive. Why drink if you're gonna drive?

What do you guys think? Does the date go smoother with an alcoholic drink? How have your experiences been and do you guys have a particular preference?

(Yes, I've never dated and therefore have no insight.)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] jdnewmil@lemmy.ca 3 points 22 hours ago

Perhaps re-frame the question: is it expected that you should partake of marijuana on the first date?

Really, a date is about getting to know each other, and any assumptions about the suitability of these kinds of social lubricants may indicate a divergence or convergence of cultural norms.

In other words, arranging a to meet at a bar sends a signal well before the "date" actually begins about how you approach life... if such a proposal is accepted then the other party is at least open to you consuming.

There are quite likely a lot of people who will breeze right past this and proceed to get tipsy to provide a cover story for embarrassing mistakes... and every but of this is fodder for judging how well you will get along if there are further dates. Don't get depressed if the other person decides against future dates... no matter your feelings if they don't feel likewise then best to drop it early.

The important thing to do is communicate the kind of person you are... forgiving, uptight, loose, teetotaler... and learn what kind of person the other is... preferably without conflict, and with respect. If alcohol fits with your persona, don't hide it.