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[Magic Johnson] Tonight we learned the World Champion Denver Nuggets are going to be very tough to beat in the NBA Playoffs. (www.reddit.com)

submitted 1 year ago by butterbeancd@alien.top to c/nba@nba.space

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Here’s his tweet in all its glory.

Magic Johnson is in midseason form already. I think we’re all excited about the return of the NBA, but this tweet just reminded me how much I’m looking forward to Magic’s postgame tweets.

Thanks Magic.

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[–] Top-String-2909@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

We are being raped by two men, please send help.

Please, if anyone is reading this send help! Recently two men who live in the building my flock nests on have started to kidnap and rape us.

Michael was sunning his feathers yesterday when he was grabbed by a large black man who brutally raped his cloaca until he was shooting blood out of it in addition to piss and shit.

The man kept saying “you like this don’t you?” And “That‘a good birdussy.” We all watched in horror as Michael was torn asunder by the man’s giant cock. Shortly after Michael died. He was cooing in my wings as he took his last breath. I will never forget his last words: “Worth it.”

I don’t know when they are coming back, but I am sure they will. If someone can call the ASPCA or PETA please do, I would myself, but don’t have fingers to dial a telephone number.