this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 113 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

This page is one of the funniest I've seen in comics:

Here's the PDF if anyone wants it.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 122 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you're out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain't shit.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 34 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That's seriously fucked up ...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 33 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

My kids got one instead of candy for trick-or-treating one year.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I find that one really funny because yeah as a pagan it is my most solemn holiday of the year, I light a candle for my dead loved ones and have a nice little chat with them hoping they can hear it somehow. You know, normal stuff people do to honor the dead.

ETA: It also marks the beginning of the season of death, where the days keep getting shorter, it keeps getting colder, and life rapidly winds down for the winter. It's a good time to reflect on endings and to remember that endings lead to new beginnings.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

That ritual is not on the pre-approved list. You must go through the proper channels. Your deviance has beed noted.

But in all seriousness, this is exactly how these reactionary evangelicals want to control people: take things that are perfectly normal human activities and put them exclusively under the purview of their own structures and hierarchies.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

...wow...my whole country is full of satanists, cuz we mourn the dead - admittedly day after halloween, which are only recently slowly adding - instead of being festive.

And it's christian holiday soooo...lol

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago

My parents unironically believe this. I'm fairly pissed, I love Halloween, and it is on my bday.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The after church crowd used to leave them instead of tips at my first restaurant

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 days ago

Oof. At least it’s not the fake $20 bills, I guess? Real asshole move either way.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

I had one left on my door once, and in the most amazing time my gyno office had a huge random stack someone left and I took every single one.

Handed them all to friends to see the batshitness.

Guy use to go to conventions and hand them out.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Definitely still do.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Jack chick was an insane evangelical Christian who genuinely didn't understand stuff like how he came off to non Christians

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago

It's not actual propaganda per se, evangelicals in particular are trying to provoke a reaction they can try to litigate. It's a grift.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What'd you bring?" "Fish sandwiches." "I... Um... Thanks, Jesus... Anything to drink?" "My blood."

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Dude's BAC is so high his blood is wine

Sounds like a good dinner to me

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 2 days ago

Related XKCD What If - "Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (2 children)

That one VTM player: "Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God's son and childe?"

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

"The blood of Christ reduces you to a pile of ash. No, there's no way to resist. Make a new character. Dumbass."

-Any decent storyteller in this situation.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The cleric version of a lich is a Mummy Lord.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Jesus is Mumm-Ra?

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

*terms and conditions may apply

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!

So, theoretically, it's not worth it.

[–] Archpawn@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

But you need the sourcebooks to learn the spell...

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

All I get from that is that D&D gives you super powers, and the author of that comic is envious because they never got invited to play.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

Especially on a table with 3 women

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

$200? What, she got like two books and shitty generic plastic figures? Big deal.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The inflation calculator that I found online says that's the equivalent today of about $600 compared to the mid 80s when this was written.

But yeah, that is underwhelming for having literal magic powers.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

She was just a lowly 8th level cleric