this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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First question: how would you handle situations where you show interest in someone by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), and they liked it enough to match with you, but not actually respond?

Second question: for those people out there who have someone show interest in you by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), why would you not at least also say hi or some other basic acknowledgment? What is the expectation?

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[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't take anything personally.

Everybody moves at a different speed, and if the speed isn't working for you, take it as a sign. I have found that people who take their sweet time responding end up being a little selfish, because they don't see you as a person who's investing time to get to know them, all they see is when it's convenient for them to reply.

Sometimes people go on a date and have a great time and then they just don't go back on the app. Likewise, sometimes people go on the app and they only need about 24 hours to feel like that was a huge mistake and they don't come back.

And as for declining or not responding to a blurb. I feel that's completely fine, you don't even need to reply. Not everybody is for everybody, and it's not your job to soothe feelings. Swiping the other way, or ignoring, is a clear sign you're not interested, and that's all is required in the adult world.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Everybody moves at a different speed, and if the speed isn’t working for you, take it as a sign. I have found that people who take their sweet time responding end up being a little selfish, because they don’t see you as a person who’s investing time to get to know them, all they see is when it’s convenient for them to reply.

I take my time because I have a busy life and I'm not on my phone most of the day. I reply when I'm ready to reply. I am not going to reply just because some stranger has anxiety/control issues with texting. and I've found people who get upset at your lack of timely replies (in terms of hours/minutes) always always have massive control/anxiety problems. I'm not compatible with people who operate like that.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

That's me exactly. Took my wife a long time to figure out that I'm not worshiping at my phone. Only reason I see half my texts is they pop on my PC.

Buddy of mine was dating this woman (we were all around 49) and he got a Sunday morning text. Decided to answer after church, then decided to eat first. LOL my god, this women comes police knocking on his door demanding an answer as to why he didn't reply. Then she storms off, "You don't care! You don't love me!"

"Dude. You sure she's our age and not a 15-yo in disguise?"

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We're were talking days. Only a complete freak needs minute or hourly replies but if a person doesn't reply after days, don't bother with them.