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Here's the point in which I realized I didn't understand coding at all.
There as a mod for a game, that was like 95% of what I wanted. It just needed a few values changed, and it would have been perfect for me.
Fortunately, the entire mod was hosted on github, and it was just 3 '.js' files. I figured, hey, how bad could it be? I'll have a look around, find the values I'm looking for, make a couple tweaks...
All three files were entirely, top to bottom, just INCLUDE statements. Not a single line of 'code'. And somehow that's supposed to do something? That's when I realized I was cooked.
Maybe that was some mod that was only pulling other mods and nothing new of itself?