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124

What would you do to help a terminally online person? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

104 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they've never done anything in life.

It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren't. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed "lazy" and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they'll enjoy, but they dont do it. I've offered to hang out with them when im their town (we've been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.

I already know most replies wil be "ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "SAVE" THEM" but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.

Edit: i knew there'd be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.

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[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

If you hadn't stated they were over 25 I would have assumed they were children. Because they sound like children. Someone has enabled this behaviour so that they can live like a child. So maybe taking these enabling factors away is what you can do to help. I don't pretend that's easy.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah it is a parenting thing for sure. Im not at all one of those asshole "KICK EM OUT AT 18 AND WORK TILL YOU DIE LIKE I HAD TO NNNGGHHH KIDS THESE DAYS!" people, but there is a line to be drawn at some point.

Like, if their mom died, wtf would they do?

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Absolutely. I am very fortunate to have very supportive parents, both financially and interpersonally, but they told me and my brother after school, in very clear terms, to learn a job that can pay the bills. For me, learning a trade, where you need to show up every morning, on-time, sober, wearing a clean t-shirt and smelling okay, probably saved me from becoming like your friends. Sadly, that ship has sailed for your friends. Now, pulling themselves out of their hole will be harder for them. I don't really have good advice.