this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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New evidence confirms COVID-19 vaccines are overwhelmingly safe::More than 38 million COVID-19 vaccine doses have been administered in Ontario as of Oct. 8, with 23,002 reports of adverse reactions, an incidence of 0.06 per cent, Public Health Ontario says

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 147 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Okay, if you say so, because I died six months after getting the first one like they said I would. Now I'm a magnetic 5G zombie.

[–] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What brand of vaccine did you get? I definitely get the 5G orders from George Soros and such (pretty standard stuff), and I was already dead inside before the jab, but I didn’t get any magnetism.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I got whichever one is most convenient to me winning the discussion about how vaccines are bad and give you 100 autisms.

Wait, only 100?

That's not enough for savant powers!

Better get extra.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

You should get a refund then, im so magnetic it's not funny.

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Being a zombie, I no longer need a phone. But my Bill Gates microchip ensures good reception for all around me whose brains I am not eating.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're very articulate for a zombie

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

It's the Bill Gates microchip.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

Best of all, the chip also doubles as an electric guitar pedal.

[–] gkd@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

Should have turned your phone off during the national alert test.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did 99% of the population also die? I must have missed that.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That 99% lived in Canada and went to a different school. They were supermodels. You didn’t know them.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago

Ok, so I’m living in the last safe place on earth. Everywhere else the vaccine killed just about everyone but in my area nothing happened.