this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Mental Health

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How the fuck do I actually find a decent DBT therapist?? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I've been through idk how many therapists. And therapy is expensive as fuck because my insurance is shit. So I'm fucking done with this bullshit.

Most therapists I've tried, even if they claim to have certain treatment modalities, seem to just be keen on sitting there and listening to me talk without giving me much guidance at all. They give me vague ideas and not actually real skills or homework. This isn't helping me at all whatsoever.

Part of the issue is that I literally could never pinpoint what the fuck my issue was. I did see a therapist years back who seemed to actually give skills and worksheets, but she was using CBT for a minor issue for me because I couldn't figure out what my problem actually was. I only had a few sessions and then stopped due to the price and the fact that I thought she latched onto a minor problem to treat (and I didn't know my issue then).

When someone told me about "emotional dysregulation" and I found out that DBT is the gold standard for it, I have tried to find some who practice this, but it seems that most don't. And those who claim to are actually often essentially talk therapists who just listen to me instead of giving me techniques and homework to build skills.

I'm frustrated as all fucking hell. Recently my work told me I will be fired if I cannot sort myself out. I am desperate here.

I live in the US, Florida specifically.

Thanks for listening.

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[โ€“] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Update 2: The therapist I grilled today actually showed me the generic version of this book (not the anxiety one) unprompted so I think that's a good sign. She said she works with the book with you.

[โ€“] the_q@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah typically a therapist would work with you, but you can still do the exercises while you find an appropriate therapist. I know that the exercises can seem simple and therefore make you feel worse, but trying to get through them when you're able can be helpful. That's the crappy thing about mental health issues, the normalization of the way you are which makes change seem both impossible and wrong. Relief is possible but there's no way to know what tool will work best for what person.