this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Mental Health

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How the fuck do I actually find a decent DBT therapist?? (lemmy.world)
submitted 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I've been through idk how many therapists. And therapy is expensive as fuck because my insurance is shit. So I'm fucking done with this bullshit.

Most therapists I've tried, even if they claim to have certain treatment modalities, seem to just be keen on sitting there and listening to me talk without giving me much guidance at all. They give me vague ideas and not actually real skills or homework. This isn't helping me at all whatsoever.

Part of the issue is that I literally could never pinpoint what the fuck my issue was. I did see a therapist years back who seemed to actually give skills and worksheets, but she was using CBT for a minor issue for me because I couldn't figure out what my problem actually was. I only had a few sessions and then stopped due to the price and the fact that I thought she latched onto a minor problem to treat (and I didn't know my issue then).

When someone told me about "emotional dysregulation" and I found out that DBT is the gold standard for it, I have tried to find some who practice this, but it seems that most don't. And those who claim to are actually often essentially talk therapists who just listen to me instead of giving me techniques and homework to build skills.

I'm frustrated as all fucking hell. Recently my work told me I will be fired if I cannot sort myself out. I am desperate here.

I live in the US, Florida specifically.

Thanks for listening.

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[–] ServeTheBeam@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Did you ask your therapist to give you worksheets/homework?

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Yeah I'm going to be very direct in the next session about this. So I'm still giving her another chance, but I don't know how well it will be followed through. I like her a lot as a person, but I'm not overly optimistic. I also didn't entirely know how therapy really worked and what I needed in therapy before recently, so it's been a ride. My therapist is also tied to my psych provider (who also may be mildly incompetent), so it's a bit of a mildly tricky scenario.

I also went a bit "nuts" and scheduled intake sessions with 3 therapists within the next several days that say they practice DBT and are familiar with personality disorders in their "conditions they treat" area. I'm going to be blunt and direct with all of them. Like I said...in the past I didn't know what I needed but I do now.

Problem is I'm going to have to suss out between these 4 people which can help me out before scheduling a million sessions with each.

[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

This. Straight up ask. Go into therapy with your own expectations clearly laid out, because they’re there to work for you.

[–] the_q@lemmy.zip 6 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

https://a.co/d/9bqM6Pw get this in the meantime and work through it even of your anger tells you it's stupid.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Thanks for the rec!!! You know I bought this book a while ago (but the generic one, not one specifically for anxiety...I didn't realize they had different subsets) and never really cracked it open.

Well I pulled it out and ran over to FedEx to print out all the online worksheets lol. Gonna start checking it out tonight.

Have you used this yourself?

[–] standarduser@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 11 hours ago

I can second this recommendation if it is possible to be found outside of Amazon and at a local book shop.