this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 92 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Fake: there are no girls on the internet Gay: anon isn't a girl

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Memetically compatible solution:

OP is a femboy.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago
[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Glad I'm bisexual, cause I'd marry the fuck out of them. Not a care in the world for what's in their pants.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

How do you know what kind of oral to do, though? You just outed yourself as a terrible lover.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

this is why we train on the Bop-It

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Please do go easy on the 'Twist It!'

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Ring.

Ring.

... Who is it?

... Honey, who is testicular torsion, and why do they want to talk to you?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why are they twisting my testicle and not my extra nips?

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

... Extra nips?

Are you... Scaramanga, from the Man with the Golden Gun?

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You figure it out when you get down there, it's not that difficult.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So you do still care, youre just willing to wait for that information until the exact moment it applies.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think you're taking this too seriously

I think I'm being technically correct!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

What.

How does that logic work?

They say they are bisexual.

This implies they have had sexual encounters with both meat rods and meat flowers.

... You know what to do based on ... what shape the sexy time meat is.

... How is this complicated?

It's not but that does still elide a necessary decision fork and discernment.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just ask your partner for their instruction manual

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

Entirely seriously, the world would be a much better place if people defaulted to actually communicating what would be in such a proverbial instruction manual.

[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago

Fake: anon has a relationship
Gay: anon 'has' a bf (there are no girls on the internet)