this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2025
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transcription: how it started: wrapping chord around controller. how its going: shibari

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[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

There are often rope workshops geared at beginners. I find these quite accessible to people who are new to this scene. The rope specific workshops I've seen often involve no overtime sexual stuff (aside from the kinky undertone of such an event). For example, the ones I've seen advertised or have attended were events with no nudity.

I liked that I could turn up and be match with someone to either tie up, or to tie me up. At more general kink events where there's other kinds of play going on, then finding someone to do rope stuff with follows typical social script stuff. It can be daunting to want to find someone who you trust who you can explore rope stuff with in that context. At a workshop, the platonic vibe of it all means that there isn't that kind of pressure. You don't have to worry so much about building rapport with the person you're tying with (beyond developing the basic communication skills involved in tying someone up/being tied up), because the event teacher(s)/supervisor(s) are there to help ensure everything stays safe (emotionally and physically).

In my area, fetlife is where stuff like this is advertised, but you would probably have good success googling something like "[your area] [rope labs/shibari workshop]". It shouldn't be too hard to find something. People running events like this tend to have an easier time finding venues because the events are not sexual per se. Workshops usually charge money; in my area, I've seen sessions costing between £5-£20. This feels very reasonable, and feeling like I'm purchasing a service (the tuition and also the safe space to participate in) helps a lot. I found the focussed context of the workshop more accessible than attending a general BDSM munch. It reminds me of how I enjoy getting to know new people through board games and similar activities — I find social stuff easier when there's a task or activity to focus on.

I'd strongly recommend you see what's available near you. It sounds like you're quite intrigued about this, to the extent that it seems inevitable that you'll end up exploring this eventually. If you agree with that assessment of things, then I'd argue that it would be wise to try out one of these events; it would be unfortunate if you end up spending a lot of time stewing in wistfulness. That's the vibe I get from your comment — I related to the tone of it, because for a long while, I was curious about this scene, but it can feel so daunting and inaccessible to actually begin getting involved with, even if you understand that it's quite a welcoming community. Workshops can be a great entry point that also feels lower stakes than generally getting involved with the scene

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Agreed, rope is more “extreme sport” than kink for a lot of people. Beginner events are generally low-pressure. It’s not nearly as scary as people generally have in mind, and I’m saying that as someone who finds it hard to go out and meet people.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

That's some solid advice, thank you!

Yes, the regular meetups / munches always felt a bit too much at once, going to a workshop sounds like a much better way to dip my toes for all the reasons you mentioned.