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My dumb ass thought people actually believed Jesus' teachings.
9/11 happened and 10 year old me was running around going, "Well, now obviously is the perfect time to turn the other cheek, be good to those who hurt us, and forgive not just seven times, but seven times seven times."
Strangely, all the people who had taught me those things didn't hear the words I spoke but apparently heard something along the lines of, "Allahu akbar, America deserved 9/11, death to America, Bin Laden did nothing wrong, and I'm happy about dead firefighters." They extremely did not like me trying to apply what they had taught me in that context.
I think I must be autistic or something because it seems like everybody else picked up on some sort of subtle understanding that none of that stuff was meant to be taken seriously or applied to real life, and I'm just over here like an absolute dupe who didn't pick up on the joke.
I'm not a Christian but I'm pretty sure that it is supposed to be taken seriously and applied to real life, and most people who say they are Christians don't.
In my experience, and maybe some churches are different, you're just supposed to pretend to take it seriously, if you actually take it seriously you'll find yourself very unwelcome.
If I went around saying, "I'm a Christian, so obviously that means I oppose the Iraq War," or, "Christian teachings clearly call for opposing the war and anyone supporting it is living in sin," I would get a lot of strange looks. Swap out the war for abortion or gay marriage and it would be perfectly normal. Between those subjects, Jesus was constantly talking about nonviolence and said nothing at all about abortion or homosexuality.
If you base you beliefs around a good faith attempt to understand Jesus' teachings, you won't be accepted in those circles. Heck, even if I based my beliefs around the Catholic Church's teachings, for example, going around insisting that being "pro-life" requires you to oppose the death penalty, I would be out of place in most Catholic circles, considered annoying at best.
I still don't really understand what I would've had to have done to fit in there. Somehow, a lot of people seem to see morality as something that is almost exclusively related to sex, and the idea of applying morality to things like war or executions is a completely foreign concept. I'm not sure how you're supposed to arrive at that point but it clearly wasn't from a good faith reading of the gospels.
I think you have to have the same emotional impulses somehow, like, to really fit in you need to have a drive to tear down people with more exciting sex lives than your own, and that was something I had no interest in. So it was either keep calling myself a Christian and try to reclaim that label, which would just confuse everyone, Christian and non-Christian alike, or find a better label. So, now I just tell people I'm a communist.
I heard propaganda may be less effective on autistic people, so maybe that's why you see through the W. Bush fearmongering.