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What should I do if I don't attract men because I look too young? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by alina@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm 23 years old, but I look 14. I always looked younger than my age, even when I was in school. I'm 167 cm, which is the standard female height where I live, so I guess it's my face, something with the shape of the bones, I dont know. I am sincerely convinced that this is the main reason why men have never approached me. I'm also quite socially awkward and not very pretty, but that's usually not a problem for other girls, so I think it all comes down to my child-like features. I've never seen men look at me with desire, or that they've ever been shy when talking to me. I feel completely desexualized and lonely and I suffer so much because of it. This problem sounds so stupid and absurd, but that's what I'm dealing with... At the very least, it's probably worth being glad that men aren't so attracted to childish features in reality...

Sorry if this post is too messy, I don't feel well while I'm writing this.

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[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 4 points 2 days ago

Look for women's activities and make friends. It's human nature to see your friends happy, and women are significantly less likely to take advantage of a very young looking woman.

You should be careful who you tell you don't look pretty. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. At best it comes off as innocent and someone will see it as weakness to avoid or exploit. At worst it comes off as attention-seeking behavior.

My intuition as a middle-aged man suggests you may receive several requests to see what you look like. I'd advise ignoring the requests and blocking the weirdos. In fact, while I won't judge you for liking what you like, I suggest steering clear of older men until you are 30. If you must, bring them around friends (see paragraph 1) and let them help you judge them.